10: The Days Ahead

One of Leslie's 4 cakes she got for her birthday says it all for the days ahead for me.

The days ahead in May will tell how my health is doing lately. I've been feeling much better than I did by the end of 2023, but any time you have to go to the doctor, you wonder what will come up.

I have a few things I have to overcome.

For one, Columbia, South Carolina. I last was there on July 13, 2023, when I had Afib. Although I'm over the travel aspects of what occurred that day with COVID and Afib after going to Jacksonville in December, I haven't been to Columbia, even in the vicinity, since July 2023. So, of course, from April 27 until June 22, 2024, I'll have to go to or through Columbia 3 times. Leslie and I will attend the Palmetto Gold Gala in Columbia on Saturday, April 27. Then, my family and I will attend the Nurse's 5K inaugural event on Saturday, May 18, and spend the weekend in Columbia. Finally, we'll pass through Columbia twice on our way to the beach in June as we head to Surfside for a family vacation.

Those will be some big milestones to overcome since the last time I was there was a hospital visit. But I have faith it will all go well. I'm all in on that.

But in addition to overcoming fears, I'll have two big doctor visits.

On April 29, I go for a heart check-up with my Cardiologist, the 6-month appointment to see how things have progressed since November. I'll go for my A1c check-up and another 6-month re-evaluation at the end of May. In both cases, I had good reports in November, with my heart having no blockages and no further Afib, coming off of Eloquis, and then my A1c was the lowest I have had since March 31, 2021, at 5.5. Those results were huge for both my physical and mental well-being. So, naturally, I have mixed emotions about what is to come for the 6-month checkups.

I hope my heart is fine and my A1c remains at the 5.6 level or lower. During these 6 months, though, I've seen my weight increase. I was 204 lbs and 205 lbs at each visit in November. Currently, I sit at 215 lbs. That's not a huge weight increase but concerns my diet and how well I have managed.

Of course, back in January, I had some issues with lower blood sugars, which was a concern. Since then, I've been prone to eating more because I don't want my sugars to be too low again. However, there may also be another factor in weight gain.

During the fall, I was extremely stressed because of my heart. My anxiety was the highest I have ever experienced in my life. This extra stress undoubtedly contributed to some of my weight loss. I actually had to slow my weight loss down to prevent going too low, as I also altered my diet. My anxiety never resolved until I increased my Lexapro and made the trip to Jacksonville. I was incredibly nervous about going on any trip then. But, following the trip, I was back at ease. I felt like myself again, and I was happy. So, now, with the Lexapro firmly in my system and feeling much better, it shouldn't be much of a surprise that my weight has gone back up. I've also eaten a little more than before November, which has contributed. I'm sure my provider will want to check to see if my thyroid could be acting up. Anything is possible.

But since January, I have felt much better, calm, at ease, and peaceful. Stress always abounds, and I let the ploy get to me some, but I also realized it. My blood sugars have also been fine since January too. Here are my entries since the beginning of February:

2/7/2024-82

2/10/2024-72

2/14/2024-101

2/17/2024-100

2/21/2024-94

2/24/2024-96

2/28/2024-93

3/2/2024-95

3/7/2024-99

3/9/2024-84

3/13/2024-88

3/16/2024-88

3/20/2024-115

3/22/2024-99

3/23/2024-90

3/26/2024-110

3/27/2024-99

3/30/2024-92

4/3/2024-100

4/6/2024-95

4/11/2024-89

4/13/2024-90

4/17/2024-90

4/20-2024-100

My blood sugar average since February 7 has been 94, hopefully translating into a solid A1c in May. My blood sugar average from August through November was 90, translating to a 5.5 A1c. Before that, my blood sugar average was 88.6, with an A1c of 5.6. Putting in perspective, the last time my A1c was 5.8 in November 2022, my blood sugar average was 91.1. However, when my A1c was 5.6 in May 2022, my average blood sugar for 3 months was 93.7.

Average blood sugar doesn't predict anything, other than that my A1c will most likely be 5.something, but will it be over 5.6, the same, or below again?

That's the question we'll have to wait and see. For now, I want to lose some weight, keep exercising, and enjoy the next few weeks leading up to the check-ups. 

I'll let you know how these turn out in the next segment of 10: Heart Follow-Up.

10: The Ploy

The schemes of the devil can be interesting.

Have you ever been tempted by anything? Usually, when temptation comes, it's in the form of something you really want. Other times, temptations can be things welling up inside you that you let guide you astray. 

A good rule of thumb is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I've often heard people speak about the Internet being the tool of the devil. Well, that is true, but it's also true that you get out of anything from whatever you put into it.

That means if you're constantly seeing things luring you into stuff you probably shouldn't be doing, it's generally because you accept it and look for it. For instance, porn sites don't seek people out, you seek them. 

Loan assistance companies don't send people letters at random. Those letters are generated because the companies can access our records and see how much debt we have, thus making it our individual fault when those letters are received. 

No one makes you mad. You make yourself mad. Think about that last one the next time someone brings up politics, vaccines, or anything that triggers an angry feeling inside you. Were you really mad at them or at you?

I would tend to believe that 99.9% of the time, the devil's schemes work on us because we let it. That's because the devil is scheming 0.1% of the time. That's really all it takes to do us in. A fleeting thought. A word in a message. The look someone gives you, good or bad. When those things occur, the devil latches on to it and entices us to act. Movies make it seem like the devil acts grandiosely to torment and attack us, whether it is The Exorcist, The Devil's Advocate, or The Omen. But these are Disney World Theme Park attractions, meant only for entertainment. The devil doesn't actually work like that.

All you need to do is go back and read the story of Adam and Eve to see how the devil truly works. He took one phrase, spoken by God, and twisted it around to tempt Eve into doing something she knew was wrong. That's it. It's that simple.

One thing Satan, Lucifer, and the devil hate is people accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior.

"Hell lost another one. I am free. I am free. I am free." That's a favorite lyric of mine from the song I Thank God by Maverick City Music & Upperroom. The song explains why salvation is so important. It changes us for good. In the end, Hell no longer has a hold on us. Therefore, the devil no longer has a hold on us. But can he still attack, misdirect, and torment in his subtle ways and devices? Absolutely! That is all the devil has left once you're saved by Christ.

For that reason, the weeks following the baptism of my family saw more tormenting than any time leading up to that weekend. Confusion, missteps, doubt, all of these feelings and emotions crept in, trying to undo things God had put into place for me and my family. If for no other reason than to disrupt and detract from meaningful and purposeful things to God. 

The weekend of the baptism saw everyone in my family having sinus and upper respiratory issues leading up to that precious moment. Except for me. Of course, the thought went through my mind. Do we need to wait for this? Let everyone get well first? Well, that seems like a logical thing to do. If people aren't feeling well, maybe postponing it isn't a bad idea. However, you must believe that what God provides will work out as God intends. What if putting off the baptism had caused another issue, opening the door for a larger problem? Perhaps putting off the baptism might have led to more doubt and ultimately deciding not to do it.

We got through baptism without issue. But it has been quite interesting since the baptism. Now that Satan cannot have us, he can stir things up. That's all he has left. In the weeks following the baptism, many things started unraveling at home, work, and even some for the kids in school. Nothing major, but enough to be aggravating for us all. These attacks came in the form of texts that hit the wrong way. Issues with our dogs. Both vehicles needing maintenance at the same time. Internet issues, especially when looking into things related to Christ. Weight changes related to dieting that irritated more than anything. Finding out that one of our children may need surgery. It is nothing overly serious, but it is still a concern. Any and everything to distract from the one thing Satan, the devil, cannot stand--joy.

Once you know you are in Christ, and in our case as an entire family now, there is no greater joy. Satan HATES that. All you can do when Satan makes those attacks is pray to Jesus to intervene, and He will. Don't let things, however big or small, steal your joy in Christ.

Now, it is time to work through the needed changes to improve the days ahead, especially leading up to the next A1c check in May. Stay tuned for the next installment of 10: The Days Ahead.

10: The Baptism

 

For many years now, our family has been baptized. But for Leslie and I, we wanted to let our children make their own decisions about their faith in Christ. Like our children, Leslie was baptized as a baby in the Methodist Church. In the Methodist Church, you don't do baptism by immersion in water but through being sprinkled instead. It's a simpler process of being baptized in Christ than dunking in a tank. This method of baptism, being sprinkled, was what I had done when I was 12 years old and first accepted Christ as my savior.

At that time, I truly believed I was saved and saw a change in my life, mindset, and faith, even as a teenager. That next year, I went through confirmation classes to learn more about why Christ died for us, the resurrection, and how you live through Christ. Leslie attended confirmation classes around the same age to confirm her faith in Christ.

But neither of our children had ever considered salvation on their own. We knew they understood who Christ was, but had they truly ever been saved or accepted Christ as their savior? Having them baptized as infants was a wonderful experience for Leslie and me, but neither of our children remembered what happened. I always knew the discussion of salvation would come up again as the kids got older.

Finally, in 2023, that discussion began. We had switched churches and essentially began anew at  NewSpring. It had been an interesting road getting to this point. For many years, we were against NewSpring, largely because of jealousy. NewSpring had grown by leaps and bounds and was bringing new people to Christ every day, it seemed. Despite any turmoil that had ever occurred there, a presence drew people to that church. God was that presence.

In recent years, Leslie and I had been considering leaving Trinity, especially after my time playing Jesus ended with the Journey to the Resurrection in 2019. We both felt it was time to try something new. But complacency set in, and we attended church sporadically for the next year. Then COVID hit. Because of that, I didn't feel safe going anywhere for two years. We had heard horror stories of entire congregations being COVID from going to church during the pandemic. So, we spent much time watching church online, but it was still mostly Trinity. Finally, in March 2022, two years after the pandemic began, we returned to Trinity in person. The first sermon played one of my favorite songs, Shout to the Lord. I had tears in my eyes because not only was it two years later that we returned in person to church but also a year anniversary since my A1c issues had begun. I was also nearing completion of my dissertation, so a lot culminated in 2022.

However, once the dissertation was done and COVID didn't seem like a large issue, I started feeling this tug at my heart that it was time to move on. The pandemic has provided an opportunity to look elsewhere for a new church family, as the messages no longer resonated with me. My faith hadn't wavered. We felt we needed to go someplace new, especially for our kids. Trinity had good programs, but changes were happening there, and my kids were just beginning to ask questions. We also learned that Fuse at NewSpring has opportunities for children with special needs. With Abby having special needs, Leslie and I felt we should give NewSpring a chance.

We went to NewSpring initially out of convenience since it's only 5 minutes from our house, as opposed to nearly 20 minutes for Trinity. Plus, Leslie told me she always wanted to try it out. So, we went.

I still remember that first time in November 2022. Just walking in made me feel like I was attending a conference. Then, entering the main service auditorium was like entering a large movie theater. We sat near the middle to the back, and I took some pictures. I couldn't help but think I was doing something wrong being there initially. Even posting about it seemed risky. But that was just my baggage. Being at NewSpring was something worthwhile to try. We saw a bunch of people we knew there the first day. Many from our old church. Then the music started playing. You can feel the bass run all through you when the songs play. It really is like being at a concert. Then, the sermon began. I listened intently to what was being said and decided to do something I hadn't done at Trinity. I took notes.

I remember watching that first sermon. The pastor was Dan Lian, who had a lunchbox out for part of it, doing the talking lunch box thing. I remember hearing Abby laugh out loud during it. That warmed my heart because she was paying attention. Then, on my notes, this is what I recorded:

11-20-2022

Supernatural Overflow

Invited

Surrender

Talk out of by stuff

Obey your way

Now, what does all that mean? Honestly, I can't remember, as looking back, I thought I had taken more detailed notes than this. Admittedly, my notes since have become more robust and informative. But supernatural overflow means overflowing in the abundance of things God provides you. You surrender yourself to God's ways, and He provides. I understood the messages that day, and it was a first step toward where it would lead me and my family.

In the months that followed, we hardly ever missed a sermon. In fact, in the year and a half, we have been attending NewSpring, there have only been a few times we didn't attend or watch online, and that was to be at the family members' baptisms at their respective churches. There were several weekends when I had tears in my eyes during the services at NewSpring. My mom told me that was the holy spirit working within me.

As I've mentioned before, I had a lot of bitterness and angst in me during 2023. The culmination of that issue came about in the form of COVID and Afib. But I saw the light, and it was time to make a change for the better in my and my family's life. 

So, after a year of attending NewSpring, we started attending Connect classes to learn more about the church and how to become more involved. After those wonderful classes, my children started attending Fuse on Wednesday nights. I still remember them fussing about going. Now, they fuss if they don't go. One night in December, Leslie and I learned that Abby had raised her hand at Fuse to give her life to Christ. A few weeks later, Charlie did the same thing. Now was the time to reaffirm our faith in Christ, and I could think of no better way than to do it together at NewSpring.

Being up there that day and getting baptized as a family was the greatest gift I could ever receive. We had our family there and had been establishing a connection with those in the congregation through Fuse and service to NewSpring. We were home, where we needed to be, and had the blessing of showing our love for Christ as one.

But as with all great moments that bring you closer to God, Satan does his best to start trying to tear it apart. But there's a big difference between trying and succeeding. Read the next segment, 10: The Ploy.