10: One Another, Part 3

 

My mom posted this picture a few weeks ago, showing me, my dad, and her together at the beach for my first trip. That's a blessing I've had for my entire life to this point and hopefully one for many more years to come.

My parents, Rick and Debbie Thrift have shown me what family really means. It's truly all about love.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I texted my mom first. I was like the scared little kid trying to come to grips with something profound to me. All I wanted was my mother. A text might not have been the best way to share it, but I wasn't sure I could say it at that moment. My mom later told me her reaction to the text. She was in the grocery store shopping when she opened the message. She said she almost had to sit down from thinking about what the text meant. 

My mom has always shared stories with me throughout my life to help me along the way. One she shared had to do with me and diabetes when I was only a few months old. My grandmother, Niney, was at an educational session with my mom about diabetes, and one of the presenters suggested that diabetes was an inherited condition. They also shared that sometimes diabetes has a tendency to skip passed some generations and on to the next, meaning it might be likely when someone contracts diabetes, it could be their grandchildren who acquire the condition later. My mom recalls looking at Niney with a concerned thought; Jason could have this later on?

Niney put her hand on my mom's and said to her, "Not our baby."

Unfortunately, Niney didn't consider some of the habits I would develop in the following years. However, my parents tried to help me understand the importance of caring for yourself. But I did for this as well.

When I was a child, my parents both smoked. My mom smoked more than my dad did, but regardless, I grew up in an environment of seeing people smoke all the time. This action was common, particularly in the 1980s, before the anti-smoking campaigns began. One day, though, I was in grade school and had a nurse visit my class to tell us about concerns about smoking. I remember them talking about how it caused cancer and the adverse effects that could be brought on for everyone in a family. But the lungs they showed us stood out to me the most. The nurse had two sets of lungs, one healthy and one marred by the effects of smoking. I remember that lung like it was sitting right here in front of me now. The lung was black, dead looking, terrible. When I got home that day and saw my mom, I just had to tell her what I had seen. As a child, I was convinced my mom and dad had no idea what cigarette smoking could do to your body, particularly to your lungs. I outlined everything the nurse had shown us and explained it to my mom as best I could. After I was done explaining, my mom said to me, "I know what cigarettes do, son." With that comment from my mom, I responded, "Then why do you do it then?"

My mom told me I looked at her with disappointment, knowing she, in fact, knew how bad cigarettes were but did nothing to stop using them. From that day on, my mom and dad both decided they would quit smoking. On Martin Luther King's Birthday in 1989, my mom smoked her final cigarette, with my dad having stopped before that. Now, 35 years later, neither has smoked again.

That's family, loving one another enough to help each other. 

My parents have always helped me throughout their lives, but it's never just been about me. They help everyone. They've helped people celebrate birthdays. They've helped brides look beautiful for their weddings. They've helped people feel the best they have ever felt with a simple haircut. They've listened and offered great advice to countless people throughout their 40-year career in cosmetology. The joy they bring to others is genuine, passionate, and filled with love. An agape type of love, as they have sacrificed for others more times than I can count. 

I'm very proud to have parents like this, but more importantly, I'm blessed. I've been blessed not only to have them as guides but also to have them my whole life together, forever. They have set an example that we should do as they have done for us. A true love in Christ.

I have shared that love with my spouse, Leslie, and my children, Abby and Charlie, because I know how wonderful it has been for me. It's not to say we haven't had our ups and downs between my parents and me; that's just part of life. But we have always been centered on what matters most--love. It is a Christ thing, the love we share that binds us together in all things we do.

So, I'm glad I could help my mom and dad with their smoking. Likewise, they have helped me with my diabetes concerns. For that, I am always grateful. So grateful to them for any and everything they have ever taught me about life.

But the story doesn't stop there with them. There are still more influential factors in my life that have helped me to work through the sugar concerns I have today. 

Stay tuned for the next segment of 10: One Another, Part 4.

10: One Another, Part 2

 

For all that Maw Maw did for me, I was blessed to have two grandmothers growing up. In addition to Maw Maw, I also had Niney, Mildred Smith.

Niney lived with us for most of my life. My earliest memories were of her with us on trips, at events, and at school stuff as far back as I can remember. My grandfather Charlie passed away before I was born, and Niney was forced to live on her own for many years afterward. She became afraid of living on her own, so much so that she got scared when my dad came over to visit briefly and had difficulty getting to her in the house. After that, my dad suggested to my mom that maybe she should live with us so she would feel safer.

From then on, Niney was always a part of my life. Because of that closeness, Niney and I developed more of a sibling relationship rather than a grandmother-and-grandson type. We were always around each other, and sometimes that would cause strife. We would argue like brother and sister sometimes, and that would lead to moments where I would call my parents at work to tell them what Niney had done this time. The truth was, I just missed my mom and dad because they worked so much then, and I just wanted them to come home. But that didn't mean I needed to call them every 10 minutes. That type of day led to my dad's famous proclamation, "When you see the car in the driveway, you'll know we are home." I remember thinking, Ok! Time to stop calling now.

But the arguments Niney and I had were always born out of love. We cared a lot for one another. So, what these fights were always about was both of us kind of acting like children. Of course, I was a child, so you know that made sense. But, like children, we always made up very quickly. There was never animosity. I remember my parents coming home one time expecting to see the worst when they arrived because of yet another argument between Niney and me, only to find us playing and laughing and having fun together instead. Like I said, we were more like siblings sometimes.

Niney was the first one to help me learn how to drive a car. I remember being about 10 years old and Niney suggesting one day, "Would you want to turn the steering wheel?" I thought, Would I? I grabbed that thing so fast that I almost jerked the car off the road. Now, don't think for a minute she was letting me drive at 10. I was just doing the steering while she worked the pedals. It was good practice, and I became an ace at driving from the passenger seat. 

One of my favorite things to do with Niney was go to yard sales on Saturday mornings in the summer. We would drive all over Anderson County looking for good deals. But it was fun for me. You got to meet new, interesting people. Sometimes, we found really cool stuff. But the fun part was just driving around on a mission to find things fun to do. She loved going to the Jockey Lot, and I thought it was so cool then. But after the riding around, we would later go to Skin Thrasher's Hot Dogs, now known only as Skins. Back then, the only Skins in existence was the one down below what used to be McCants Middle School in front of First Baptist Church in Anderson. But the hot dogs were so yummy, especially with a Coke in a glass bottle.

But my favorite memory was something Niney did for me when I was about 9 years old. Back then, I was obsessed with the Ghostbusters. I couldn't get enough of watching that movie over and over and over. I loved it so much that I started my club for the Ghostbusters and tried to recruit friends at school. Well, in order to have a club, you had to have a cool clubhouse as a base for the Ghostbusters. I would take things from around the house to set up a base in our backyard at home. There was an old shelf for organizing things. I had an old beach chair I laid sideways for the main door to the clubhouse. It was all situated under a big pine tree in the backyard that acted as a roof, with a big open space underneath surrounded by bushes to either side that acted as walls. It was perfect to me but a bit overgrown from an adult standpoint. I'm not sure if Niney was worried about insects and snakes getting to us when we played back there or what her reasons were other than love for her grandson, but when I came home one day from school, I was on cloud nine.

Niney took me to the backyard to see my renovated clubhouse. I stood there looking at it as my jaw hit the ground. Niney had cleaned out a bunch of the overgrowth to make it look even more like walls and created a passageway from the main area to adjacent areas at the back of the yard. She brought out another old beach chair and created another door on the far end, down near a tree. There were chairs, tables, and other things that I could set up as a base of operations. It was beautiful!! I hugged her for fifteen minutes, it seemed. What Niney did, like Maw Maw, was always out of love.

That's why it became so hard, later on, to watch her body deteriorate from the scourge that is diabetes. When she showed me the hole in her foot that one evening, I had no idea how bad things would get for her in the years ahead. As a teenager, I thought that was all part of aging. I didn't know much about diabetes then. But thanks to the experiences of what Niney went through, I learned all too well just how much that disease can ravage a human being. Years later, once I could drive, I was the one driving her around as she had once done for me. But instead of going to school, we were taking her to doctor's appointments. Those times I spent the night with her in the hospital, I never knew I would be a nurse one day trying to tend to others dealing with similar circumstances. I never knew then what I would be facing now with my own life. 

When you're younger, you think things will always be the way they are for you for your entire life. I'm sure Niney thought that once, too. I doubt she imagined losing both of your legs, having strokes, or having to deal with diabetes. When she was younger, she was just like me then, believing she always would be. Now, she is younger, in heaven. I even pictured what she looked like in heaven one time in my book The Civilization Loop. A scene from the book showed God talking to a young woman named Mildred about the events unfolding on Earth. That is my Niney. She's always with me, as are Maw Maw and Paw Paw. They helped me see the problems I was having in my life three years ago, which helped me avoid some of the complications that arose for Niney. I can only imagine what would have happened to me had I not made changes in 2021. What if I decided I'm just going to live my life how I want, and who cares what happens. What if I had never gone to employee health that day, or it had been a year later when they stopped doing those check-ups on employees? Would I still even be alive today?

The good news is, I'm in a better place now than I have been in upwards of a decade. As a colleague of mine once said, "You've only just begun." Maybe the end is the beginning, to steal a slogan from my book. Maybe there's no beginning and no end, like from The Eternal Loop. I think I like that one best, as well as the story from the book. The reason is because it ends having all those we love together again after a journey of a lifetime. That sounds like Niney to me, too. She loved journeys, and I loved her for them.

But beyond my grandparents, I've had others in my life who helped me get to where I am today in this journey with diabetes. Stay tuned for the next installment of 10: One Another, Part 3.

10: One Another

One thing that helps you through a journey like this, whether it is working through sugar control concerns or Afib, is sharing that experience with others. As you do that, you build a relationship and trust with one another. What you hope for, at least for me, is that the message being delivered in posts such as these begins to resonate with others. In some way, maybe the messages help someone in need.

Growing up, I had the best example of this from one individual who epitomized Godly care for one another--my grandmother, Joanne Thrift, whom I called Maw Maw.

Maw Maw was and continues to be one of the best people I have ever known. Her passion was always for others. Whether through the stories she wrote or the interactions she had with them in person, she lived a blessed life of loving those around her and treating others the way she would want to be treated as well.

Maw Maw was a journalist for her career, most recently for the Anderson Independent Mail. What I remember about her time writing for the newspaper was her articles that appeared in the Home Towner. She would write stories about people from our hometown of Anderson, SC, and the surrounding local areas every week. Her stories always showed one thing, inspiration. The reason being, that's what Maw Maw did for all of us, inspire.

One way she inspired was through her humility. Maw Maw never boasted about anything she accomplished. I never knew that Maw Maw once helped Ronald Reagan celebrate his birthday while he was campaigning in the area until she retired from the newspaper and it was brought up in articles and on a television snippet with WYFF about her career. I never knew all of the awards Maw Maw received for her writing until she passed away in 2012. In fact, I hardly ever remember her boasting about anything she ever did. I heard her boasting about the things she loved, which were typically things about her family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers on the street.

She held to God's word to love one another. That was never more clear than the way she loved her family. Maw Maw worked diligently as I was growing up to always bring her family back together on a regular basis. Whether it was Sunday lunches, family reunions, birthday parties, or sometimes all of the above at the same time, she enjoyed doing all she could for her family.

I loved going to Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house on Sundays to have Sunday Lunch. There was nothing better than eating some of Maw Maw's mac and cheese! I still make it to this day because she left me the recipe. I honestly don't believe I could live without it. It's the best in the world. But all her food was great because she did it for us so much. So many Sundays we spent gathered together, watching movies and sports. We would laugh, play, and enjoy the happiness she brought to us all.

As a child, I spent the night at Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house almost every Friday. We would stay up late watching television, everything from Star Trek to Tales from the Darkside (the 1960s versions shown on Nick at Night). Then on Saturday morning, I would get up and eat breakfast while watching Saturday Morning Cartoons (everything from Looney Tunes to The Real Ghostbusters, Transformers, Muppet Babies, Pee Wee's Playhouse, and Garfield and Friends). But what I really loved doing was when Maw Maw would play stuff with me on the Bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

She let me turn one unoccupied room in her house into a playroom for me and my cousins. At the time, Star Trek was something I absolutely loved, everything about space even. She did all she could to encourage that creativity in me, as she was quite creative. So, I took toys, posters, and everything I could to build my version of the Enterprise. We had a ball in there battling Klingons, Romulans, and sometimes even family members and friends. It was all in good fun, of course, and Maw Maw would laugh and laugh as we played.

When she wrote stories that I remembered, they usually corresponded to our family. Many a birthday and Christmas, we were entertained by Maw Maw's tales of trying to rhyme our names with something in the story she created. Sometimes, she would take movie quotes to see if we knew the film that corresponded to it. Sometimes, we would have to guess whose birthday she was talking about during the tale. Other times, she would tell us what our names meant, like mine meaning "One who heals" or Dustin's name meaning "Brown Stone." Those stories did so much to make us smile, laugh, and fill us with joy so much. It's hard to remember every story and how it went because she did so many, at least 30 years worth, just from the time that I recall. But she didn't just do this for us. She did this for everyone, too. She epitomized agape love, living her life loving others and caring about them.

That was her passion, telling stories about others. Once, I managed the social media pages for the Clemson University School of Nursing, and during those 4 and 1/2 years of doing so, I tried to do things I recalled Maw Maw doing--keeping it on the sunny side. As a colleague once said to all the faculty about my posting, they were celebratory, as I routinely highlighted the accomplishments of others across the platforms. For that short period, it made me feel like I had a small taste of what Maw Maw did so well as a person and professional. But what I did on social media didn't come close to the level she was capable of in her musings. She was one of a kind, and I could only ever hope to be as good of a writer as she was in her lifetime.

She inspired me in every way, and I was blessed to have someone like her in my life to shine a light on what it truly means to be alive. Loving others, caring more, being humble, serving, and holding God above all things. That's the story of Maw Maw. She let me and my whole family know why it is important to love one another. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to have someone like her in my life. 

But that's just one of the many people in my life that has helped me grow into the person I am today. I've written things previously about my parents and in-laws, but I want to touch on others who have inspired me to show love to others the way they did.

Tune in next time for 10: One Another, Part 2.

10: Joy

Nothing can bring you down when you are in a spirit of joy. But one thing I have learned over the years is that when I'm my happiest, that's when I let my guard down about my diet.

That is what makes dieting so hard, honestly. The ups and downs of trying to maintain an adequate intake that doesn't over indulge or undernourish. As a kid this is not something you have to worry about, and even up to a certain age in adulthood. But once you get past about 25, your metabolism changes dramatically, and if you're not working out consistently, you will pack on the pounds.

When you are in your 40's, the metabolism slows down even more. I typically see that the holidays are the biggest culprit for overindulging. You're happy during that time, and nothing can bring you down from the high of the holiday season. But as soon as the lights come down, the garland is put away, the seasonal depression can set in for many, and despite resolutions, people will often make, they continue to overindulge coming out of the holidays and using the winter as a new reason to eat more.

Excuses abound.

"I really need a pick my up today, a hot fudge nut sundae would do it."

"I don't want my lean cuisine for lunch today. I want a big, juicy hamburger with all the trimmings."

Fried foods increase, or foods high in sodium start showing up, like soups, where we all tend to overindulge because it helps us stay warm.

Because of this, I was seeing my weight start to creep back up again after the first of the year because I was truly happy. As I said, entering 2024, I have a lot more positivity about me than any previous year, but that also means contentment. When you're content, you don't worry about things as much as you did, and eating habits are one place you'll slack off the most.

But there was another reason I began overindulging some for a few weeks in January 2024. I was checking my blood sugar one afternoon before supper and got this reading:

63

That was the first time in the 3 years since I began checking my blood sugars that I had a reading below 70. Before this reading, the lowest had been 71, sometime in 2023. It was also the first time my glucometer registered low, with an arrow over the blue line on the device.

I got panicked and took another drop of blood from the same finger a few seconds apart, and the reading came back 59!

I never had readings this low for blood sugar, so naturally, I started eating anything!

I ate munchkins. Then I ate supper. Then I ate popcorn. I was eating everything and checking my blood sugar about 6 times that evening. No reading after that came close to 63, with it ranging from 89-141.

The next morning, I checked my sugar for the heck of it, and the reading was 101. So, I didn't overindulge too much, but my mind was fixating on the lower reading. So, as you can imagine, I began eating more, and that made my weight go up a little more dramatically. Like, 5 lbs in one weekend dramatically.

I was being ridiculous about one reading that honestly wasn't that low. The 59 was most likely an aberration, and even the 63 was not low based on my provider's standards. As I said once before, they measure blood sugar on a scale of 60-110 for lab work. So, until you are below 60, it's not a huge concern. Most people are not even symptomatic for low blood sugar until they are below 60, so the fact my sugars were fine about an hour later showed there was no real issue.

But the next week, I got a blood sugar reading of this:

69

So, on this day, it wasn't my routine day to check my blood sugar. I only check my sugars 2 times per week. When I got another reading in the 60s, I decided to wait 15 minutes before checking it again. However, I did let my provider know the situation this time. One reading wasn't a cause for concern, but two readings like this could be. 

After the 15 minutes, I rechecked my sugar on a completely different finger this time and got a reading of 76. I didn't eat or drink anything during that 15 minutes. It just went up on its own. Blood sugars don't really do that when they are truly low. Having checked a number of blood sugars, where the person was also symptomatic for it, I can assure you if the sugar is low on a finger stick it typically will be on a lab one too. However, for me I wasn't symptomatic at all, in either situation. So, most likely these were erroneous readings and not authentic for what my blood sugar was actually doing.

But that is how easy it is for something negative to creep in. Remember, negativity surrounds us, and I was letting two blood sugar readings get to me and perpetuating eating more than I needed to. Now, my provider and I agreed, it would be good to check the battery on the device, but it could also mean its time to check my meds to see if I need as much if these readings persist after this. Wouldn't that be a blessing if I didn't need as much Glucophage now.

We shall see how that plays out, but for now, my biggest is thing is not to let readings get to me and instead focus on the blessings I have. After all, you can be joyful and still do what you need to be doing the help yourself.

Tune in next time for the next segment of 10: One Another.