10: The Baptism

 

For many years now, our family has been baptized. But for Leslie and I, we wanted to let our children make their own decisions about their faith in Christ. Like our children, Leslie was baptized as a baby in the Methodist Church. In the Methodist Church, you don't do baptism by immersion in water but through being sprinkled instead. It's a simpler process of being baptized in Christ than dunking in a tank. This method of baptism, being sprinkled, was what I had done when I was 12 years old and first accepted Christ as my savior.

At that time, I truly believed I was saved and saw a change in my life, mindset, and faith, even as a teenager. That next year, I went through confirmation classes to learn more about why Christ died for us, the resurrection, and how you live through Christ. Leslie attended confirmation classes around the same age to confirm her faith in Christ.

But neither of our children had ever considered salvation on their own. We knew they understood who Christ was, but had they truly ever been saved or accepted Christ as their savior? Having them baptized as infants was a wonderful experience for Leslie and me, but neither of our children remembered what happened. I always knew the discussion of salvation would come up again as the kids got older.

Finally, in 2023, that discussion began. We had switched churches and essentially began anew at  NewSpring. It had been an interesting road getting to this point. For many years, we were against NewSpring, largely because of jealousy. NewSpring had grown by leaps and bounds and was bringing new people to Christ every day, it seemed. Despite any turmoil that had ever occurred there, a presence drew people to that church. God was that presence.

In recent years, Leslie and I had been considering leaving Trinity, especially after my time playing Jesus ended with the Journey to the Resurrection in 2019. We both felt it was time to try something new. But complacency set in, and we attended church sporadically for the next year. Then COVID hit. Because of that, I didn't feel safe going anywhere for two years. We had heard horror stories of entire congregations being COVID from going to church during the pandemic. So, we spent much time watching church online, but it was still mostly Trinity. Finally, in March 2022, two years after the pandemic began, we returned to Trinity in person. The first sermon played one of my favorite songs, Shout to the Lord. I had tears in my eyes because not only was it two years later that we returned in person to church but also a year anniversary since my A1c issues had begun. I was also nearing completion of my dissertation, so a lot culminated in 2022.

However, once the dissertation was done and COVID didn't seem like a large issue, I started feeling this tug at my heart that it was time to move on. The pandemic has provided an opportunity to look elsewhere for a new church family, as the messages no longer resonated with me. My faith hadn't wavered. We felt we needed to go someplace new, especially for our kids. Trinity had good programs, but changes were happening there, and my kids were just beginning to ask questions. We also learned that Fuse at NewSpring has opportunities for children with special needs. With Abby having special needs, Leslie and I felt we should give NewSpring a chance.

We went to NewSpring initially out of convenience since it's only 5 minutes from our house, as opposed to nearly 20 minutes for Trinity. Plus, Leslie told me she always wanted to try it out. So, we went.

I still remember that first time in November 2022. Just walking in made me feel like I was attending a conference. Then, entering the main service auditorium was like entering a large movie theater. We sat near the middle to the back, and I took some pictures. I couldn't help but think I was doing something wrong being there initially. Even posting about it seemed risky. But that was just my baggage. Being at NewSpring was something worthwhile to try. We saw a bunch of people we knew there the first day. Many from our old church. Then the music started playing. You can feel the bass run all through you when the songs play. It really is like being at a concert. Then, the sermon began. I listened intently to what was being said and decided to do something I hadn't done at Trinity. I took notes.

I remember watching that first sermon. The pastor was Dan Lian, who had a lunchbox out for part of it, doing the talking lunch box thing. I remember hearing Abby laugh out loud during it. That warmed my heart because she was paying attention. Then, on my notes, this is what I recorded:

11-20-2022

Supernatural Overflow

Invited

Surrender

Talk out of by stuff

Obey your way

Now, what does all that mean? Honestly, I can't remember, as looking back, I thought I had taken more detailed notes than this. Admittedly, my notes since have become more robust and informative. But supernatural overflow means overflowing in the abundance of things God provides you. You surrender yourself to God's ways, and He provides. I understood the messages that day, and it was a first step toward where it would lead me and my family.

In the months that followed, we hardly ever missed a sermon. In fact, in the year and a half, we have been attending NewSpring, there have only been a few times we didn't attend or watch online, and that was to be at the family members' baptisms at their respective churches. There were several weekends when I had tears in my eyes during the services at NewSpring. My mom told me that was the holy spirit working within me.

As I've mentioned before, I had a lot of bitterness and angst in me during 2023. The culmination of that issue came about in the form of COVID and Afib. But I saw the light, and it was time to make a change for the better in my and my family's life. 

So, after a year of attending NewSpring, we started attending Connect classes to learn more about the church and how to become more involved. After those wonderful classes, my children started attending Fuse on Wednesday nights. I still remember them fussing about going. Now, they fuss if they don't go. One night in December, Leslie and I learned that Abby had raised her hand at Fuse to give her life to Christ. A few weeks later, Charlie did the same thing. Now was the time to reaffirm our faith in Christ, and I could think of no better way than to do it together at NewSpring.

Being up there that day and getting baptized as a family was the greatest gift I could ever receive. We had our family there and had been establishing a connection with those in the congregation through Fuse and service to NewSpring. We were home, where we needed to be, and had the blessing of showing our love for Christ as one.

But as with all great moments that bring you closer to God, Satan does his best to start trying to tear it apart. But there's a big difference between trying and succeeding. Read the next segment, 10: The Ploy.

10: One Another, Part 5

My favorite group to be with throughout the years. Leslie, Abby, and Charlie. This final segment of the One Another blog goes out to my family. My Puka, Boomer, and Buck.

I remember when we went to Philadelphia. We had so much fun staying in the hotel downtown. While I attended the conference, Leslie and the kids explored the area. Of course, staying close to the hotel until I could join them. We visited the Liberty Bell and walked the streets of Philadelphia as I sang the Bruce Springsteen song until my whole family wanted me to be quiet, as did some passersby. My favorite part of the trip was going to the stadium complex on the city's outskirts, where all the sports franchises resided. We got to go to Citizen's Bank Park and watch the Phillies play the Atlanta Braves. Of all the teams that could be in town that weekend, the irony was that it was my beloved Bravos. Then we got lost on the metro, meaning we took the wrong one. We just about reached New York because of it, but we found our way back home.

That's the beauty of being lost with the ones you love. At least you're together. Eventually, something will lead you back home. 

I was lost in my overindulgence with gluttony. Drinking all the sweet tea. Eating whatever I wanted. Many of those issues stemmed from being stressed about things beyond my control. One thing I did have, though, were cheerleaders in my back pocket. Leslie and the kids did all they could to help me, but I wouldn't always let them. I let everything bother me instead of relying on my family and God to help me. For instance, look at these two pictures from Halloween. The first one is from Halloween 2019. Leslie looks like her usual beautiful self and as far removed from a witch as anyone can be. The kids look lovely, too. As for me, I'm filling out the Ghostbusters outfit pretty well. A little too well. I was the heaviest I've ever been at that point, heading into 2020. Pictures like this should have been a wake-up call for me, but they weren't. I was too preoccupied with the stressors going on around me that I would just eat and eat as if I were still 17 and didn't gain a pound.

But look at the next picture. This pic is from Halloween 2021. The Ghostbusters outfit is the same one from 2019, and look at the difference in my weight. By Halloween that year, I had lost 30 lbs from where I started at the doctor's office in April, and more than that since 2020. However, much of the initial weight loss was from diabetes taking its toll on my body. By October 2021, though, I was in better shape, feeling good, and had diabetes under control. The belt was the sign. In 2019, which you can't see, the belt was stretched as far as it could go to fit around my abdomen. In 2021, look at all the excess left hanging. Leslie still looks the same because she continues to do things to help herself through diet and exercise. The kids had grown some and continue to do so, but they, too, tried to help me see better ways of doing things.

When I told my family the news of my sugar issues, I remember what Abby did. She saw how the news had bothered me. I told them I had to give up Sweet Tea, which was hard then. When Abby heard that, she quit drinking Sweet Tea too. I told Abby she didn't have to do that. I told her she was still young and could enjoy things if she wanted to. But she didn't like knowing her Daddy couldn't have it anymore, so she didn't want it either. That made me cry that my baby girl, my Boomer, loved me so much that she was willing to give up something she liked to help me.

Charlie was much more concerned about my heart issues that happened in 2023. He usually sits beside me on the couch at night, playing away on his iPad. But he would ask me many questions about my heart and what I experienced. Charlie is curious about many things. But what I love talking to him about more is space and God. Charlie has a simple way of looking at things sometimes. He likes to deal with facts. That will make him a good researcher one day if he chooses that route. In some ways, he helped me see the facts of my heart situation. I would think about things he said and others during the fall of 2023. I began to realize that this situation could have been much worse and the anxiety I was feeling was simply a by-product of what happened. In time, Charlie's calming demeanor was something I latched on to, and I tried to start doing myself some. I'm more high-strung than he is and more like his sister. The sibling rivalry is strong in these two. But seeing how he responded to things helped me see things better.

But that brings me to my beautiful bride. My Puka. She's truly been with me through thick and thin. Especially a whole box of Thin Mints. Aren't Girl Scout Cookies the absolute best? But I've learned not to splurge so much on them like Leslie eats parts of her meals. However, one thing Leslie has taught me a lot about is exercise. She's shown me the importance of working out and how it benefits you. She's been a stalwart when it comes to fitness. One of the greatest things about 2023 for me was when Leslie began working at the YMCA, where she could help others begin their fitness journeys. She's a great hair stylist, but I know how much she loves working out. She's helped me see the importance of it, and I know she helps others, too.

The biggest thing Leslie, Abby, and Charlie have shown me throughout this journey is love. Their love has been something I've clung tightly to, allowing me to overcome all obstacles. That love was given to them by Jesus and is shared by them in the same way He would. They are a blessing to my life, and I thank God daily for having them by my side.

And that's a wrap for the One Another segment of the blog. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have in writing it. Tune in next time for the next segment, 10: The Journey of Fun.

 

10: One Another, Part 4

I've mentioned how my father-in-law, Jim Bowen, has helped me through this journey of high blood sugar. But my father-in-law and mother-in-law, Brenda, have helped me in various ways since March 31, 2021.

Over the years, long before my sugar issues, both Gran and Grandad, as the kids call them, have worked together diligently to carve out better habits in their own lives. Eating better and working out appropriately. Gran always had the best veggie lasagna! She, of course, makes regular lasagna, too, but the veggie was quite tasty and better for you. But one thing she always made that I loved for breakfast was her mini biscuits!! Those were amazing. Granted, you shouldn't eat 20 of them in one sitting, but they were small and, therefore, better for you if you ate them in moderation. That's true of any food, honestly.

However, Brenda has always given sound advice throughout my time with her concerning health. She researches things and determines what works best for herself and those she loves. She also quickly confirms things she has seen online since she has at least 4 healthcare professionals in the family. Not a bad thing to have for anyone. But she's also vigilant because of her previous husband, John. John passed away at a very young age, approximately my age now. That's eye-opening for anyone because it shows how fleeting life can be when you least expect it. 

My father-in-law has a similar life experience with the loss of his spouse, Sharon, Leslie's mother. She was even younger than John when she passed away from the effects of ALS. In both cases, they share a bond of losing a spouse in their younger years but gaining love later. For that reason, they know true tragedy and how to carry on.

Having high blood sugars and then Afib were not tragedies. Had I died from something, that would have been a tragedy. What both of them showed me was how I could overcome those issues and carry on. They understood how scary it can be to have a condition, but they were always quick to remind me that things can get better. 

My father-in-law has had his share of health concerns, but he's never let that dictate his life. He was an avid kayaker when I first married Leslie. So much so that he took Leslie and me on our first river rafting excursion in 2003. Then, later, we had kayaking lessons that allowed him to share his favorite activity with us.

I had always wanted to go river rafting since seeing the film River Wild, one of my favorites of all time. So, when we had the chance to go down the Ocoee River in Tennessee, I was nervous but stoked. It was something new I had never tried. But I picked up on it pretty well. Well, enough that the next year, we tried the kayaking. The biggest thing I wanted to learn to do with kayaking was rolling. I tried it in the pool a few times but wanted to do it on the open river. But to Mr. Bowen, that wasn't the most important thing. What was important was learning the basics of kayaking and enjoying it.

There was one particular point in our kayaking excursion that Leslie and I, in separate kayaks of course, had to go down a stretch that was long ahead of my father-in-law. That seemed uneasy to us, but Mr. Bowen knew we could do it. And we did do it, in various ways. I went down first and got turned around backwards because of partially getting caught in an eddy. An eddy is a section of the river that is not moving compared to the flow of the river, and thus you have to maneuver around it to be sure you don't roll over and possibly have to bail out of the kayak. So, I went down the stretch blind, but came out ok in the end. Leslie followed after me and got caught in the same eddy, but in her case it unnerved and caused her to flip some because she got too close a strainer. A strainer is a section of the river with a bunch of tree branches or roots sinking down and it catches you like a strainer in a sink. Leslie held on to the limbs with all her might as he dad came down behind her and allowed her to grab hold of his kayak. We then retrieved her kayak and paddle and started back down the river again.

But the moral of that story was, life will throw you lots of curveballs. Sometimes they will twist you all around, but you still have to balance yourself and move through in whatever way you can. Sometimes those curveballs will knock you off your path, and you might have to hold on for dear life, but ultimately there is someone that can assist you. In this case, Christ. We always have the help we need, when we need it. As I went down the river backward I wasn't scared, because I knew I had protection, not only from those with me, but from Jesus too. For Leslie, she was ok after that incident, but also had protection waiting on those that loved her to help and through Jesus as well.

We always have God on our side to support us and help us through challenging things. Jesus also presents us with people who can help us here. Gran and Grandad, Jim and Brenda, my in-laws, have been there for me as much as anyone else I have named thus far.

But there is still one last group of people I haven't mentioned that have helped on this journey day in and day out. You'll read about them in the next segment of 10: One Another, Part 5.

10: One Another, Part 3

 

My mom posted this picture a few weeks ago, showing me, my dad, and her together at the beach for my first trip. That's a blessing I've had for my entire life to this point and hopefully one for many more years to come.

My parents, Rick and Debbie Thrift have shown me what family really means. It's truly all about love.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I texted my mom first. I was like the scared little kid trying to come to grips with something profound to me. All I wanted was my mother. A text might not have been the best way to share it, but I wasn't sure I could say it at that moment. My mom later told me her reaction to the text. She was in the grocery store shopping when she opened the message. She said she almost had to sit down from thinking about what the text meant. 

My mom has always shared stories with me throughout my life to help me along the way. One she shared had to do with me and diabetes when I was only a few months old. My grandmother, Niney, was at an educational session with my mom about diabetes, and one of the presenters suggested that diabetes was an inherited condition. They also shared that sometimes diabetes has a tendency to skip passed some generations and on to the next, meaning it might be likely when someone contracts diabetes, it could be their grandchildren who acquire the condition later. My mom recalls looking at Niney with a concerned thought; Jason could have this later on?

Niney put her hand on my mom's and said to her, "Not our baby."

Unfortunately, Niney didn't consider some of the habits I would develop in the following years. However, my parents tried to help me understand the importance of caring for yourself. But I did for this as well.

When I was a child, my parents both smoked. My mom smoked more than my dad did, but regardless, I grew up in an environment of seeing people smoke all the time. This action was common, particularly in the 1980s, before the anti-smoking campaigns began. One day, though, I was in grade school and had a nurse visit my class to tell us about concerns about smoking. I remember them talking about how it caused cancer and the adverse effects that could be brought on for everyone in a family. But the lungs they showed us stood out to me the most. The nurse had two sets of lungs, one healthy and one marred by the effects of smoking. I remember that lung like it was sitting right here in front of me now. The lung was black, dead looking, terrible. When I got home that day and saw my mom, I just had to tell her what I had seen. As a child, I was convinced my mom and dad had no idea what cigarette smoking could do to your body, particularly to your lungs. I outlined everything the nurse had shown us and explained it to my mom as best I could. After I was done explaining, my mom said to me, "I know what cigarettes do, son." With that comment from my mom, I responded, "Then why do you do it then?"

My mom told me I looked at her with disappointment, knowing she, in fact, knew how bad cigarettes were but did nothing to stop using them. From that day on, my mom and dad both decided they would quit smoking. On Martin Luther King's Birthday in 1989, my mom smoked her final cigarette, with my dad having stopped before that. Now, 35 years later, neither has smoked again.

That's family, loving one another enough to help each other. 

My parents have always helped me throughout their lives, but it's never just been about me. They help everyone. They've helped people celebrate birthdays. They've helped brides look beautiful for their weddings. They've helped people feel the best they have ever felt with a simple haircut. They've listened and offered great advice to countless people throughout their 40-year career in cosmetology. The joy they bring to others is genuine, passionate, and filled with love. An agape type of love, as they have sacrificed for others more times than I can count. 

I'm very proud to have parents like this, but more importantly, I'm blessed. I've been blessed not only to have them as guides but also to have them my whole life together, forever. They have set an example that we should do as they have done for us. A true love in Christ.

I have shared that love with my spouse, Leslie, and my children, Abby and Charlie, because I know how wonderful it has been for me. It's not to say we haven't had our ups and downs between my parents and me; that's just part of life. But we have always been centered on what matters most--love. It is a Christ thing, the love we share that binds us together in all things we do.

So, I'm glad I could help my mom and dad with their smoking. Likewise, they have helped me with my diabetes concerns. For that, I am always grateful. So grateful to them for any and everything they have ever taught me about life.

But the story doesn't stop there with them. There are still more influential factors in my life that have helped me to work through the sugar concerns I have today. 

Stay tuned for the next segment of 10: One Another, Part 4.

10: One Another, Part 2

 

For all that Maw Maw did for me, I was blessed to have two grandmothers growing up. In addition to Maw Maw, I also had Niney, Mildred Smith.

Niney lived with us for most of my life. My earliest memories were of her with us on trips, at events, and at school stuff as far back as I can remember. My grandfather Charlie passed away before I was born, and Niney was forced to live on her own for many years afterward. She became afraid of living on her own, so much so that she got scared when my dad came over to visit briefly and had difficulty getting to her in the house. After that, my dad suggested to my mom that maybe she should live with us so she would feel safer.

From then on, Niney was always a part of my life. Because of that closeness, Niney and I developed more of a sibling relationship rather than a grandmother-and-grandson type. We were always around each other, and sometimes that would cause strife. We would argue like brother and sister sometimes, and that would lead to moments where I would call my parents at work to tell them what Niney had done this time. The truth was, I just missed my mom and dad because they worked so much then, and I just wanted them to come home. But that didn't mean I needed to call them every 10 minutes. That type of day led to my dad's famous proclamation, "When you see the car in the driveway, you'll know we are home." I remember thinking, Ok! Time to stop calling now.

But the arguments Niney and I had were always born out of love. We cared a lot for one another. So, what these fights were always about was both of us kind of acting like children. Of course, I was a child, so you know that made sense. But, like children, we always made up very quickly. There was never animosity. I remember my parents coming home one time expecting to see the worst when they arrived because of yet another argument between Niney and me, only to find us playing and laughing and having fun together instead. Like I said, we were more like siblings sometimes.

Niney was the first one to help me learn how to drive a car. I remember being about 10 years old and Niney suggesting one day, "Would you want to turn the steering wheel?" I thought, Would I? I grabbed that thing so fast that I almost jerked the car off the road. Now, don't think for a minute she was letting me drive at 10. I was just doing the steering while she worked the pedals. It was good practice, and I became an ace at driving from the passenger seat. 

One of my favorite things to do with Niney was go to yard sales on Saturday mornings in the summer. We would drive all over Anderson County looking for good deals. But it was fun for me. You got to meet new, interesting people. Sometimes, we found really cool stuff. But the fun part was just driving around on a mission to find things fun to do. She loved going to the Jockey Lot, and I thought it was so cool then. But after the riding around, we would later go to Skin Thrasher's Hot Dogs, now known only as Skins. Back then, the only Skins in existence was the one down below what used to be McCants Middle School in front of First Baptist Church in Anderson. But the hot dogs were so yummy, especially with a Coke in a glass bottle.

But my favorite memory was something Niney did for me when I was about 9 years old. Back then, I was obsessed with the Ghostbusters. I couldn't get enough of watching that movie over and over and over. I loved it so much that I started my club for the Ghostbusters and tried to recruit friends at school. Well, in order to have a club, you had to have a cool clubhouse as a base for the Ghostbusters. I would take things from around the house to set up a base in our backyard at home. There was an old shelf for organizing things. I had an old beach chair I laid sideways for the main door to the clubhouse. It was all situated under a big pine tree in the backyard that acted as a roof, with a big open space underneath surrounded by bushes to either side that acted as walls. It was perfect to me but a bit overgrown from an adult standpoint. I'm not sure if Niney was worried about insects and snakes getting to us when we played back there or what her reasons were other than love for her grandson, but when I came home one day from school, I was on cloud nine.

Niney took me to the backyard to see my renovated clubhouse. I stood there looking at it as my jaw hit the ground. Niney had cleaned out a bunch of the overgrowth to make it look even more like walls and created a passageway from the main area to adjacent areas at the back of the yard. She brought out another old beach chair and created another door on the far end, down near a tree. There were chairs, tables, and other things that I could set up as a base of operations. It was beautiful!! I hugged her for fifteen minutes, it seemed. What Niney did, like Maw Maw, was always out of love.

That's why it became so hard, later on, to watch her body deteriorate from the scourge that is diabetes. When she showed me the hole in her foot that one evening, I had no idea how bad things would get for her in the years ahead. As a teenager, I thought that was all part of aging. I didn't know much about diabetes then. But thanks to the experiences of what Niney went through, I learned all too well just how much that disease can ravage a human being. Years later, once I could drive, I was the one driving her around as she had once done for me. But instead of going to school, we were taking her to doctor's appointments. Those times I spent the night with her in the hospital, I never knew I would be a nurse one day trying to tend to others dealing with similar circumstances. I never knew then what I would be facing now with my own life. 

When you're younger, you think things will always be the way they are for you for your entire life. I'm sure Niney thought that once, too. I doubt she imagined losing both of your legs, having strokes, or having to deal with diabetes. When she was younger, she was just like me then, believing she always would be. Now, she is younger, in heaven. I even pictured what she looked like in heaven one time in my book The Civilization Loop. A scene from the book showed God talking to a young woman named Mildred about the events unfolding on Earth. That is my Niney. She's always with me, as are Maw Maw and Paw Paw. They helped me see the problems I was having in my life three years ago, which helped me avoid some of the complications that arose for Niney. I can only imagine what would have happened to me had I not made changes in 2021. What if I decided I'm just going to live my life how I want, and who cares what happens. What if I had never gone to employee health that day, or it had been a year later when they stopped doing those check-ups on employees? Would I still even be alive today?

The good news is, I'm in a better place now than I have been in upwards of a decade. As a colleague of mine once said, "You've only just begun." Maybe the end is the beginning, to steal a slogan from my book. Maybe there's no beginning and no end, like from The Eternal Loop. I think I like that one best, as well as the story from the book. The reason is because it ends having all those we love together again after a journey of a lifetime. That sounds like Niney to me, too. She loved journeys, and I loved her for them.

But beyond my grandparents, I've had others in my life who helped me get to where I am today in this journey with diabetes. Stay tuned for the next installment of 10: One Another, Part 3.

10: One Another

One thing that helps you through a journey like this, whether it is working through sugar control concerns or Afib, is sharing that experience with others. As you do that, you build a relationship and trust with one another. What you hope for, at least for me, is that the message being delivered in posts such as these begins to resonate with others. In some way, maybe the messages help someone in need.

Growing up, I had the best example of this from one individual who epitomized Godly care for one another--my grandmother, Joanne Thrift, whom I called Maw Maw.

Maw Maw was and continues to be one of the best people I have ever known. Her passion was always for others. Whether through the stories she wrote or the interactions she had with them in person, she lived a blessed life of loving those around her and treating others the way she would want to be treated as well.

Maw Maw was a journalist for her career, most recently for the Anderson Independent Mail. What I remember about her time writing for the newspaper was her articles that appeared in the Home Towner. She would write stories about people from our hometown of Anderson, SC, and the surrounding local areas every week. Her stories always showed one thing, inspiration. The reason being, that's what Maw Maw did for all of us, inspire.

One way she inspired was through her humility. Maw Maw never boasted about anything she accomplished. I never knew that Maw Maw once helped Ronald Reagan celebrate his birthday while he was campaigning in the area until she retired from the newspaper and it was brought up in articles and on a television snippet with WYFF about her career. I never knew all of the awards Maw Maw received for her writing until she passed away in 2012. In fact, I hardly ever remember her boasting about anything she ever did. I heard her boasting about the things she loved, which were typically things about her family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers on the street.

She held to God's word to love one another. That was never more clear than the way she loved her family. Maw Maw worked diligently as I was growing up to always bring her family back together on a regular basis. Whether it was Sunday lunches, family reunions, birthday parties, or sometimes all of the above at the same time, she enjoyed doing all she could for her family.

I loved going to Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house on Sundays to have Sunday Lunch. There was nothing better than eating some of Maw Maw's mac and cheese! I still make it to this day because she left me the recipe. I honestly don't believe I could live without it. It's the best in the world. But all her food was great because she did it for us so much. So many Sundays we spent gathered together, watching movies and sports. We would laugh, play, and enjoy the happiness she brought to us all.

As a child, I spent the night at Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house almost every Friday. We would stay up late watching television, everything from Star Trek to Tales from the Darkside (the 1960s versions shown on Nick at Night). Then on Saturday morning, I would get up and eat breakfast while watching Saturday Morning Cartoons (everything from Looney Tunes to The Real Ghostbusters, Transformers, Muppet Babies, Pee Wee's Playhouse, and Garfield and Friends). But what I really loved doing was when Maw Maw would play stuff with me on the Bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

She let me turn one unoccupied room in her house into a playroom for me and my cousins. At the time, Star Trek was something I absolutely loved, everything about space even. She did all she could to encourage that creativity in me, as she was quite creative. So, I took toys, posters, and everything I could to build my version of the Enterprise. We had a ball in there battling Klingons, Romulans, and sometimes even family members and friends. It was all in good fun, of course, and Maw Maw would laugh and laugh as we played.

When she wrote stories that I remembered, they usually corresponded to our family. Many a birthday and Christmas, we were entertained by Maw Maw's tales of trying to rhyme our names with something in the story she created. Sometimes, she would take movie quotes to see if we knew the film that corresponded to it. Sometimes, we would have to guess whose birthday she was talking about during the tale. Other times, she would tell us what our names meant, like mine meaning "One who heals" or Dustin's name meaning "Brown Stone." Those stories did so much to make us smile, laugh, and fill us with joy so much. It's hard to remember every story and how it went because she did so many, at least 30 years worth, just from the time that I recall. But she didn't just do this for us. She did this for everyone, too. She epitomized agape love, living her life loving others and caring about them.

That was her passion, telling stories about others. Once, I managed the social media pages for the Clemson University School of Nursing, and during those 4 and 1/2 years of doing so, I tried to do things I recalled Maw Maw doing--keeping it on the sunny side. As a colleague once said to all the faculty about my posting, they were celebratory, as I routinely highlighted the accomplishments of others across the platforms. For that short period, it made me feel like I had a small taste of what Maw Maw did so well as a person and professional. But what I did on social media didn't come close to the level she was capable of in her musings. She was one of a kind, and I could only ever hope to be as good of a writer as she was in her lifetime.

She inspired me in every way, and I was blessed to have someone like her in my life to shine a light on what it truly means to be alive. Loving others, caring more, being humble, serving, and holding God above all things. That's the story of Maw Maw. She let me and my whole family know why it is important to love one another. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to have someone like her in my life. 

But that's just one of the many people in my life that has helped me grow into the person I am today. I've written things previously about my parents and in-laws, but I want to touch on others who have inspired me to show love to others the way they did.

Tune in next time for 10: One Another, Part 2.

10: Resolutions

"Look, I'm not stupid, you know. They cannot make things like that yet."

"Not yet, not for about 40 years."

A favorite part of mine from the 1984 film The Terminator. In the scene, Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor discuss the plausibility of a cyborg, part man and part machine, coming after her from the future. That future they were both referring to is the year 2024. This year, today. Although we still have a while before we see if the future of the film could be plausible in 2029, right now, it's clear that some things were just make-believe.

It's always fun to think about what will come in the future. Because the future is unknown, we sometimes worry too much, which is probably why Jesus said not to focus on it. Most of the time, people think of all the negative possibilities that could arise, like artificial intelligence (AI) either destroying or enslaving humanity. But right now, the most sophisticated AI available can only write a paper for you and possibly trick a professor into believing it was a real person who wrote it. Hardly a humanity destroyer or an overlord.

So, instead, it is best to look at the here and now more than what the future holds. Many of the films I grew up loving have seen their years come and go now, like Blade Runner, Back to the Future II, The Island, The Terminator Franchise, and even some journeys back in time by Star Trek have been proven untrue. Our future is truly whatever we make of it, so let's make it a good one, to quote Doc Brown.

Going into 2024, I had this renewed sense of presence, and feeling of positivity, more than I ever had before. I couldn't say that for many years prior to this, especially since 2020. The year 2020 alone was completely forgettable, other than the good things you tried to focus on amidst the growing turmoil of the world. The year 2021 started with a full-on revolt in America and then my own personal health issues. The year 2022 started a sense of dread for me as well, as I was finishing my dissertation and felt all of that pressure, but I also felt a lot of negativity surrounding the year, despite any good. The year 2023 wasn't much better. Stress, anger, and uncertainty were abounding that year. Although I had no more dreams of consequence after March 2021, I felt a certain sense of uneasiness throughout 2023 that culminated in the Afib of July.

After the Afib, though, things began to change. Although stress and uncertainty were still there, I did have two moments that made me focus on something else: my blessings. First, there was the it's time comment in a sleep/wake moment, and then the dream to count my blessings. That is followed by the encounter with an angel. All of these things happened after the Afib and were progressing me in a new direction for my life. Maybe not new, but a more sustainable and important one.

Unlike with my sugar issues, where the dreams and encounters seemed like warnings of impending doom, these encounters since August 2023 have been one of hope and what is to come.

It was time for me to start believing in what is good, pure, and wholesome for my life and to not dwell on things that take away from that life. Because of that, I've done a number of things to help put myself in a better place as the calendar rolled over from December 31, 2023, to January 1, 2024.

There's more joy in my life at the start of 2024 than there has been in recent years. I'm not worrying like I once did, even a few months ago, because what good does it do anyway? I'm enjoying my time with my family more and more each day that passes. I look forward to being at work and doing my best job while supporting those around me like I never have before. I'm truly trying to be all that I can be now. I feel peaceful and content. That's not to say there still aren't moments of frustration, but I handle them better, forgive more quickly, and reason things out more rationally than before. I'm more open-minded now than I have been but with a narrow focus on what is truly important.

I say all of this because as we started 2024, I decided to make some resolutions. We all do that to some degree, typically things like losing weight or exercising more. But these resolutions I wanted to share could be life-changing in ways I might not possibly imagine until they occur. So, here is my New Year's Resolution list for 2024:

1. Be happy, assured, present, and joy-filled this year and beyond. I love the song Joy by for King and Country. I've been playing it a lot since August 2023. It fills my heart with happiness and has quite a catchy beat. Listen to it sometime when you have the chance, if you never have. 

2. Embrace the unknown possibilities. Whether it be a new way of looking at something, a new career opportunity, or a trip of a lifetime, whatever the case may be, I don't need to dwell on the how but the when. They will happen when you least expect it and be ready to embrace those opportunities when they arise.

3. Specifically for me, I want work to be good in 2024. Whether it's working with my teammates on a grant project I'm on, the members of the Virtual Reality and Nature Lab, my coworkers at the School of Nursing, or simply people at church, the organizations I serve, I want it all to go well this year. Re-ignite that passion for the profession I serve and grow stalwart nurses who can carry things forward. But most importantly, help people in sickness and in health.

4. For my family to be happy, healthy, and whole, and the chance to show God how much we love and honor Him. Back in December, my daughter professed her faith in Jesus Christ one night, and as the new year began, my son did the same. For the first time in their lives, they acknowledged what Christ had done for them on their own, on separate days even, so as to not give glory to me or anyone else for why they chose to do it. That's salvation! Now, as a family, we'll be being baptized at NewSpring on March 17, a rededication for my wife and me and my children's profession of faith for them all their own. It will be a great day and something I am truly blessed to share in.

5. For me, don't let negativity creep back in. Whether it's a political campaign or the tug of something from the past trying to wield its saber at me, there's no place for the negativity anymore. Unfortunately, negatives are all around, but it is up to how you choose to dwell on it. I've dwelled too much on the negative and need to accentuate the positives in my life. I'm sure this aspect will be an ongoing battle within me for many years to come. But making that change starts now, in 2024, and I'll work to maintain it for all time. I don't need to let things destroy relationships, ruin friendships, or cause great loss. I need to mend those relationships, enduring friendships, and create great gains. 

I think those are good, don't you? One thing I'm grateful for already, the prognosticators of the make-believe world of The Terminator were wrong. The only thing a computer has ever done to me is crash or pick up a virus. That was annoying, but at least it wasn't Skynet ending me. Those were fun movies to watch and rewatch, but it's more fun to watch the path my children, family, friends, and colleagues all take instead.

That's what I look forward to more in 2024 than anything. Less division, more unity. I can't wait to see what unfolds.

In the meantime, I hope your resolutions happen how they are meant to and that 2024 is the best year yet for everyone. After all, we've been through, we have earned a better year than some in recent history. Let's make it a good one.

Tune in next time for 10: Joy.

10: Thankful

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."-1 Thessalonians 5:18

Credit: Country Living

Have you ever heard the Boys II Men song, Thank You? I've loved that song from the first time I heard it. "Cause even though when times got rough, you never turned away. You were right there. And I thank you, I thank you-oooouu."

I'm sure you are singing that verse now. It's a great song and symbolizes the band's gratitude for support from those dear to them. I had heard somewhere it was also a message about thanking God for His help with each of them throughout their lives. 

Being told that you don't have to do something anymore was something quite profound. I really thought it might be months before I could consider stopping the Eliquis simply because I was still fearful of the Afib. In fact, a few days after the visit, I reported a moment on my monitor where I felt like my heart raced for a moment. However upon checking it with the clinic, the heart rate barely got above 100 and was sinus rhythm, thus nothing they would be concerned about. The heart rate went back to normal, and there was no issue. It was a flutter like it sometimes happens. Anxiety was still the big issue.

In the following weeks, heading towards Thanksgiving, everything seemed to settle in more. Things at work were going great. At home was becoming even better. Although moments of friction still happened, especially during the holiday season, it was a great time with my family. We started attending Connect Classes at NewSpring to move towards becoming "members" there. Life was going great, and I was feeling much better. The only thing looming on the horizon was my next A1c check.

In May 2023, my A1c was 5.6. This time of year in November was my dreaded time of year for the A1c to elevate. There was never any rhyme or reason as to why it would go up. I just knew it had. This elevation was a source of frustration the past two years and I was hoping this time it would not go up. Compounding the issue, my next A1c check was AFTER Thanksgiving.

An A1c is a 3-month average of your blood sugar throughout the body, so a long weekend of eating probably wouldn't affect it that much, but this is Thanksgiving we're talking about. I was planning to make Maw Maw's macaroni and cheese. Mom was preparing chicken, dressing, green beans, corn, and mashed potatoes. Leslie was making vegall casserole. The Bowen Family Thanksgiving was also going to be that weekend with turkey, ham, more green beans, mac and cheese, dressing, and pies! Oh, the pies and the other desserts, too. It was enough to give you diabetes if you ate every last bit of it.

But as I had before Thanksgiving Week, I was trying to avoid going overboard. If I ate a lot at one meal, I cut down on the next. I still didn't eat much in the way of sweets, just something occasional. Water to drink, and I kept on exercising each day as I had before. I didn't run the Electric City Gobbler this time because I wanted to relax on Thanksgiving Day. Besides, I had run in the race the previous two years, and despite all the preparation for the 5K, my A1c went up both times. Running didn't help my sugar levels. Managing my diet and walking help much more. In fact, my knees were trying to tell me it was time to stop running. They ached all the time. So, although I miss running sometimes, I don't miss it enough for the detriment it was causing to the rest of my body.

So, despite the holiday season, I ate well, worked out well, and kept positive that everything would be fine the day I got checked at the clinic. I claimed that this would be the first time my A1c would go down from May to November. I believed it would be the case with all my heart. I was anxious about it, but not nearly as much as I had been before the stress test and echo. My anxiety was more of joy than apprehension. 

And I was thankful for it. I was thankful for a good life, good health, a great career, a loving family, and cherished memories that would carry me right through the holiday season approaching.

But now, it was time to see the results and if I had successfully managed things, even through the Afib drama. The Wednesday after Thanksgiving was approaching, and it was time to find out.

Stay tuned for the next segment, 10: The Serendipitous Results.

10: Happy Halloween

With the stress test and echo now over, I could breathe easily again.

That weekend was hauntingly fun, with Halloween just around the corner and Fall Break at Clemson. If nothing else, it gave me time to rest some and allow the Lexapro to begin working. However, I did do one thing that sidetracked me for a day.

I got the Covid vaccine.

Some of you reading this have issues with that particular vaccine, but I believe in doing whatever is needed to protect myself and others. With the fact that I got Afib due to contracting Covid in July, it felt pertinent to me to get the vaccine to help myself especially. Frankly, I've yet to meet anyone that had serious issues with the Covid vaccine. However, I've seen plenty of people have major, life-changing, altering, or ending issues from Covid. Besides, as one provider said once if you don't contract something from a vaccine within 6 weeks after administration, nothing will happen, which means major issues. 

But small issues can arise with any vaccine, like location reactions or not feeling well. This reaction happened to me the day after the latest Covid vaccine. I felt achy and just plain crappy. So much so that we decided to stay home from church and watch it on television instead. By that late afternoon, I finally started feeling fine again. This reaction wasn't the first time this happened to me with the Covid vaccine, as a similar issue arose in 2021, and a day or so later, I felt fine. I felt fine again in the same timeframe after this dose of the vaccine. Now, I felt secure in the fact that I would be helped if Covid came to visit again.

Additionally, that same week, Leslie's car battery died, the fan on our central heating and air unit died (no longer under warranty), and our string trimmer we had for at least 7 years, died. Things like that always happen in threes, but we actually didn't realize the issues with the trimmer until several weeks later.

The biggest thing that had changed, though, was my mindset and my anxiety. Now, Lexapro doesn't work right away. It takes about 2 weeks to feel anything and 6 weeks to feel like you're 50% yourself again. It can take months to feel 100% again after initiating Lexapro, so a few days of taking the drug wasn't helping my spirits. I was doing that.

I had started altering my mindset at the beginning of October, which carried over throughout the month. If September was a terrible month since all of this had occurred in July, October was the best. I shifted my mindset from negativity to positivity, trying to think through things more rationally. The biggest thing I also started doing was not worrying much about things. I had stressors, of course, but I wasn't in distress. My stress levels had reached an all-time high by July. Now, I felt calm and at peace.

For that reason, I felt I could enjoy my favorite time of the year--Halloween. For the first time, my kids didn't want to trick or treat and end to 10 years of childish fun. That was bittersweet to hear, but they wanted to hand out candy to others. I loved that idea! Years after stopping trick or treating myself, I started handing out candy at my parent's house all through high school and college until Leslie and I had kids of our own to take trick or treating. So, I was stoked to start going to my parents to hand out Halloween candy to other kids.

It also helped that my parent's neighbors went all out decorating for Halloween this year. That house was crazy but so awesome. They had all manner of ghouls and goblins to attract attention, which would also help bring people to my parent's house. We always have handed out candy at my parent's house because our home is way out in the country by comparison. There are never any trick-or-treaters out there. But my parent's house always brings them in on Halloween.

So, we set up a fire pit, and a table with a candy bowl and sat out in front of my parent's house roast marshmallows for s'mores and hot dogs. It was a beautiful night after rain had been forecast. Instead, we sat there playing the soundtrack to Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (my favorite Halloween movie) while we laughed, played, and enjoyed the camaraderie of the evening, venturing up to the neighbor's house many times that weekend to see the excitement in the eyes of children coming to have some fun. 

That's what it's all about for me. I love the fun of Halloween, not the occult. I love the camaraderie of being together, not the costumes. I love the joy it brings, which is a good thing to inspire others to believe in joy. Ironically enough, Halloween does mean "Holy Evening." All Hallows Eve proceeds All Saints Day, providing a Christian connotation to the evening of Halloween. You can read about some of this here and see good scriptures that could be read on Halloween. Unfortunately, the Bible offers no direct scripture about Halloween itself. At least for me, much like the vaccines, I find the joy in the event of the evening more than something negative about it. To each their own on how we all look at certain things.

But on Halloween evening, my thoughts were preoccupied with one thing: what would happen the next day with my results from the stress test and echo? I was anxious about the results and, ultimately, what my cardiologist would want to do. But that's a tale for the next segment.

Look for that segment next week, 10: The November Results.

10: Divine Commencement

Graduation Day! Although I graduated in August 2022, the commencement ceremony for Mercer University is only held in May of each year. That meant my commencement ceremony would not be until May 2023. Appropriately enough, the commencement was on Mother's Day.

My mother and my wife had offered a great deal of support as I worked through my PhD, so giving them the gift of me finishing school was all too welcome. But they, and my mother-in-law, also did a lot to support me through my concerns with sugar and diabetes. Unfortunately, on this day, my mother-in-law couldn't join us, but she was cheering for me just the same as I walked across the stage. But what happened at commencement made for a truly divine encounter.

During my time in the PhD program, I had three other classmates I began with in Fall 2015. Unfortunately, one could not continue in the program, leaving what I called the Big Three. Laura, Paula, and I worked hard as we navigated the remaining coursework and the dissertation process. Laura completed her PhD in 2020 amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Fortunately, most of her research was completed before all the lockdowns, allowing her to work on analysis that didn't require meeting with individuals in person. However, Paula and I completed our proposals a year and a half after the pandemic began, meaning most things only required masks or vaccines. That allowed both of us to conduct in-person research and work towards completion of the program. Paula and I had a tight window to completion in 2022, but we did complete it!

It was an arduous journey for both of us, so of course, we planned on going to commencement. Because of the way the ceremony is set up, they put everyone in specific cohorts together. Bachelors students sat together. Master's students sat together. So, Paula and I, being the only PhD students, sat side by side for one last time as a "student" at Mercer. We would leave that day as official alumni at Mercer University. But the real divine piece to this didn't happen in the ceremony but in the stands surrounding us during the event.

My mom, dad, Leslie, and the kids sat in the stands above us, and I could see them waving to me from afar. We were at Gas South Arena in Duluth, Georgia. The stadium rose up from the ground floor, where the ceremony was conducted, allowing for a nice view for attendees. Eventually though, a lady came and sat down beside my mother. She asked first if she could sit there with her family, to which my mother replied yes immediately. There certainly was no assigned seating that day, except for us in the ceremony. Once they sat down, as my mother always does, she began to chat with the older lady and learn more about her.

My mom is a social butterfly and doesn't know a stranger. But on this day, this particular interaction would become strange. But in a good way.

At some point, while talking to one another, the lady sitting beside my mom started hollering down and waving at the graduate she was there to see, along with her family. My mom asked the lady who their graduate was, and the lady said it was her daughter, and she was down near the middle, in my location on the floor. My mom then asked her what degree her daughter had earned. The lady replied, "She earned her PhD in Nursing." My mom thought, what? Then the lady told my mother, "That's her next to that gentleman." The gentleman was me.

My mom was a little shocked. Somehow, in all these people in the stadium observing, my mom just happened to end up sitting beside my classmate's mother. Even more ironic was that my mom and Paula's mom wore black and white striped dresses to the event. My mom looked back at Paula's mother and said, "That gentleman is my son. He's graduating with his PhD in Nursing as well." Paula's mother was now shocked herself. Neither could believe they sat beside each other, just as their two children sat beside one another in the ceremony. People sitting near my mom and Paula's mom had heard some of this and began chiming in too. "You mean to tell me the two of you don't know each other, and both your kids are graduating from the same program, and you just happened to sit beside one another?" This person said they got cold chills thinking about it. "That is a God thing," said another person sitting nearby.

There's a lot of truth to that. Paula and I both went down to the wire on our PhDs, trying to complete them. Paula, unfortunately, had lost her father along the way, but still was striving to complete this journey in memory of him. That made for a very special moment as she walked across the stage, signifying the end of her journey in the program. I followed behind her shaking hands with the Dean, and having the President say to me, "Congratulations, Doctor" all while my mom yelled out, "That's my son." He voice cracked a little bit in the process of yelling. Of course, after the ceremony, we all went and pigged out! My family and I had some yummy Japanese at Kani House in Buford, one of our favorite places to go.

But after all of this excited simmer down, May 23rd was fast approaching. This was the day that would determine where my A1c was at that time, after another 6 month stretch. I was doing pretty well with my dieting, minus a big meal on this day with graduation, but I was still concerned had I done enough? If the A1c was still up, where would things take me next with my regimen. Honestly, with all the good that was happening leading up to May 23rd, 2023, I had a better feeling that I was expressing. Besides, the number 23 was on my side. 

Tune in next time for the next segment 10: Good as Can Be.

10: Fall 2022

 

Ah, Fall! My favorite time of year. Seeing autumn come makes me think of cooler temperatures, milder climates, multicolored leaves, less grass cutting, school is back in, football, Halloween, World Series, bonfires, and paving the way to Christmas time.

I love this time of year. I always start decorating for fall as soon as September hits, not September 21st, but September 1st. That is the start of the fall season for me. The true, most wonderful time of the year, at least for me.

The best thing I love about fall is running. In high school, running in the cooler autumn temps allowed my lungs to expand as much as possible to take in plenty of oxygen and run as fast as I could for 3.1 miles. My favorite course was always the Furman Invitational. The race was typically in mid-October, allowing for a nice crisp chill in the air on the race mornings. The course was on the golf course mostly, so almost completely flat with beautiful grass and landscapes. Every time I ran that race, I did a personal record of some kind. I just loved it!

But each race in high school was met with uncertainty where you had to show your capabilities. That was not unlike the Fall 2022 semester for me, as I was starting a new course for my career - as a researcher.

Having accepted a position on tenure track, I knew the next year would be busy trying to navigate the rigor and needs of research. But I was up to the challenge. I will admit, though, this added a layer of stress after finishing the dissertation. I replaced one stress with another stress.

Stress plays a huge factor in sugar control too. For one, if you are stressed, you are prone to eat and eat comfort foods. But much like the Fall of 2021, I still did well trying to balance things out. COVID helped some. My weight dropped by almost 8 pounds during COVID. However, I knew I would put that weight back on once I felt back to full strength. I didn't lose that weight initially like the year before; it was due to sickness.

Amazingly, my sugars never got out of control during COVID and remained steady in the 80-100 range thereafter. I wasn't checking my sugars nearly as often now, given a reprieve by my provider to save my fingers from needle sticks. I was checking my sugars twice a week now. Only one time during the fall did my sugar reading reach 100 during those checks. The stress of trying to write grants, manuscripts for publications, and submit abstracts was tough, but it wasn't quite as bad as the dissertation phase had been. This difference was largely because I was now working with a team of researchers.

Having gone to my first Prisma Health, Health Science Center (HSC) Mixer, I found myself working with a group as passionate about virtual reality (VR) as I am. The HSC Mixers are an opportunity for researchers to mingle and share ideas in the hopes of applying for seed grants offered by Prisma Health. When I planned to attend, I wanted to meet some people to start thinking of ideas so that I might apply for a seed grant the next fall in 2023. With it already being mid-September and the due date for the letters of intent was mid-October, I didn't think I could get a grant submission in time for fall 2022.

I was wrong.

That's the thing about being a novice. You don't really know anything until you actually do something. All your schooling really leads to entry-level. I felt like the doctor in the first episode of Scrubs.  It's also a lot like running cross country. You never knew what the courses might be like sometimes, although the coaches tried to prepare you. You still had to run the race. There was always something in the path you had to navigate around, obstacles even. But ultimately, you figured out the course and successfully completed the race without injury. The same rules applied here with grant writing and doing research. However, I was forewarned before the start of the semester. At orientation, President Jim Clements made it clear to all of the newest faculty and researchers of Clemson University that the best time to start doing your research for tenure track is NOW. Don't delay. So, when opportunity knocked that day at the HSC Mixer, I jumped on the train and never looked back.

This was the same philosophy I took with my diabetic concerns from March 31, 2021. I knew this was the only way to handle things, and I would be remiss if I didn't try. When you're faced with new challenges, all you can do is adapt and figure out ways to succeed. Much like Spring 2021, the Fall semester of 2022 was uncharted territory for me. How did I fair? Well, just like any race, steady as she goes, doing the best I could.

That effort would soon open the door for me to things I hadn't even considered before finishing my PhD. A new team. New affiliations. New opportunities. It was truly amazing, all the while still trying to maintain control of my sugars as I had the previous year and a half. How would the results end up this time?

Tune in for the next segment, 10: The 5.8 Syndrome.

 

10: Living

"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on a journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all, Number One, we're only mortal."-Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: Generations.

I've always loved this final dialogue from the film. This was the last Star Trek film to be released while I was still in high school, December 1994. I was 17 when that movie came out, so this line resonated with me. At that point in my life, I had many years ahead. It seems like yesterday I was with my parents in Charlotte, seeing this film after my final Cross Country meet at the Wendy's Invitational. A few months later, I graduated from T. L. Hanna High School, Class of 1995.

That seems like a blur now that nearly 29 years have passed since that day. But time has been a companion all along the way.

The Bible has a lot to say about living too. One particular verse says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."-Colossians 3:23-24.

This verse, too, says little about leaving something behind. It speaks volumes about how you live. Cherishing those moments as they come along the way and serving something greater than yourself or anyone else.

Finishing high school, you have great opportunities to come, but the greatest is who you allow yourself to become. No one is ever defined by their actions but by who they choose to be. It's always your choice, as Mrs. Kay once said.

Despite being in the throngs of a dissertation in 2021, I still had plenty of time to reflect on the choices I had made to that point in life. Many were good, but I indeed recalled the ones that led me to where I was by June 2021, involving my health. I had made some poor choices in that aspect of my life. As outlined in prior posts, I developed bad habits in my diet and had become a bit lazy in my exercise routine. But those were all my choices to make.

Then amid it, I had some startling news between March-June 2021. Three of my former classmates from high school had passed away. Two passed in March, right before I realized the A1c of 10. The other was in May of that year. I remembered them all very well.

Jason Anderson was someone that I played sports with many times throughout middle and high school. We would go to the bowl in Anderson, down below the old swim center (which is gone now) on the grounds of McCants Middle School (formerly known as T. L. Hanna High). It was always fun playing football down there with the guys. I once showed up late for a game that had already begun. I walked out on the field just as they called hike to run a play. Jason came charging around as a defender to get the offensive player, and I just stopped dead in his path. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there like a pole in the middle of the field. Jason ran smack into me and almost fell down. Afterward, he joked, "I couldn't tackle the guy because Thrift threw a nasty block." It wasn't intentional, but still pretty cool. He, unfortunately, died of a heart attack in March 2021.

Nikki Carson was a beautiful young woman when I saw her in school. She was sweet as she could be, from what I remembered. Always pleasant with a brilliantly bright smile. I always remembered that about her. She was always willing to help, laughed a lot, and radiated kindness. I didn't know her as well as Jason or interact with her as much, but when I did, I always enjoyed talking to her and seeing her insights about things. Unfortunately, she, too, died in March 2021, I believe from a heart-related condition.

Both of these individuals' passing got my attention and was another reason I wanted to get myself checked out. When I had my heart rate spike to over 130 beats while sitting still, I was worried something terrible would happen to me next. If I had not gotten checked in March 2021 and never knew about the 10 A1c, I may have joined them. But, again, it was my choice to pursue a new course that could help me in my life. Did Jason or Nikki have a choice with their conditions? I do not know. All I did know is what I could do to help myself.

After my successes through May 18, 2021, I continued living my life throughout that month and beyond. It would still be challenging, but if I chose wisely, I could manage what I was going through. I was managing it well with the reduced A1c and feeling great. Then, I heard about the passing of another classmate.

Trevor Walling was someone I had known almost all the way through grade school. I wasn't close to him, but I knew of him and interacted with him some. Trevor was voted the Class Clown at our senior banquet in 1995. And he loved it! So did everyone else because he was good at it. He could dance too. At senior prom that year, I remembered seeing him charge out on the dance floor when no one else did, dancing to the music without concern. The man liked to have fun. 😁 The last time I saw him in person was in 2004. My wife and I went into a GNC shop, and he worked the counter that evening. We got what we needed and caught up a bit. He was working and doing some things in school and had plans from what I remembered. It was just nice to see him again, as it had been a while. I just didn't realize this would be the last time I would see him alive. So, when I heard about his unexpected death in May 2021, that was a real eye-opener. As I read about his life since the last time I saw him, I was happy for him. He fulfilled those plans. I was happy about how he had lived. He cherished the moments that followed that day in 2004, and that's a monumental achievement for anyone in life. Proud of you, Trevor.

Jason's, Nikki's, and Trevor's deaths made me reflect on all those lost from my Class of '95 along the way:

Allison Kay

Gene Haskins

Jason Hill

Scott West

Chadwick Boseman

These are just the ones I knew about and confirmed. There are most likely more, unfortunately. Reflecting back on all of these people I knew from school, there was one thing they all had in common. 

They lived.

Some had tragic ends, some had illnesses, but all of them had lived up to the point of their deaths.

I once remembered Scott playing Taps for Coach Wayne Jones' birthday in the lunchroom. He was an excellent musician.

I remembered how physically fit Jason was. The man worked out hard and would have put any cross-fitter today under the bus. I even remember seeing him one last time at the gym a couple of months before his accident. 

Who doesn't know Chad? But I still remember his Mr. T. L. performance that brought a hush to the crowd as he won that title, the first of so much more to come in his esteemed acting career. Wakanda Forever.

Gene, or NormaGene as we liked to do to him in jest sometimes. I remember when he got his Toyota truck and spent an entire party one night jumping over dirt jumps in someone's yard over and over and over and over, like seriously, I didn't think he was going to stop. He loved that truck!

I'll never forget Allison. My grade school crush, so of course, I wouldn't forget her. In 5th grade, her little brother PK asked me, "Do you like my sister?" I was so embarrassed because I thought, Is it that obvious? Later at her funeral, as I shook PK's hand in front of her casket, he took a little longer to let go. I've often wondered what he was thinking at that moment.

Allison's death was one of the hardest for all of us. We were so young and barely a year out of high school when it took place. Following the accident that had occurred, I wrote a final email to her, telling her thank you. I let her know that I always appreciated how she took up for me, even sometimes when others didn't. That's what I liked about her most. Unbeknownst to me, those emails at Clemson found their way back to Mrs. Kay. That led to months of conversations with her about life, as Mrs. Kay loved what I had to say about Allison, believing it epitomized who her daughter was. However, I had never expected anyone to read it, so I was a bit embarrassed. But I loved those talks. The crux of the discussion was that we all make choices in life, and we have to live with them, good or bad. She told me the story about Allison and the steeple. There were so many wonderful things that it honestly prompted me to think, This story of Allison would make a great movie. A cautionary tale about the choices we all make in life. But mostly a final story about a wonderful person who was lost tragically but served to unite a community in many ways. I even thought of a soundtrack for the story, everything from Gimme Some Lovin to Hootie and Blowfish, Dave Matthews, Eye of the Tiger, and so much more. Maybe I'll get around to that story One Sweet Day. 

So much loss and yet so much left to gain. 

After hearing about Trevor's passing, I made a choice then. I would keep living, whatever it takes, no matter what, for as long as possible.

The eye-opener I received was that I had a lot of life left to live. Many things occurred in the years leading up to 2021, making me aware there was much left to do. This A1c was just a phase in my life that can only improve. So, I would keep living and doing all I could to better myself, my family, friends, colleagues, and everything. 

June through August was more about living life to the fullest and doing your best, no matter what. I worked in clinical groups, dieted like I had been incorporating things back in, and exercised the best I had in many years. Life was perfect. I was living and not allowing the predator to stalk me. After all, we're only mortal.

"Speak for yourself, sir. I plan to live forever."-Commander William T. Riker, Star Trek: Generations.

The Bible has something to say about living forever too. 😀

Look for the next segment, 10: The August 2021 Results. Enjoy this picture of my Class of 1995 in the meantime. I'm in the top right corner, next to Will Dorsey.