10: Dream Analysis

The Final Analysis of the Four Dreams

So, the burning question. What did all of these dreams mean, and what did any of them have to do with diabetes?

Since I'm a huge science fiction and fantasy fan, especially of Star Trek, I'll use a phrase so often uttered by Spock. It will appear logical in the end.

Vivid dreams are powerful and skirt the boundary between the real and the unreal. It was hard to discern what was real in each dream and what wasn't, and my mind didn't perceive anything as unreal, even though there were elements that defied reason.

My grandparents, who had long passed away, had returned alive and well in the dreams. That was the only critical difference between reality and the dreams. Everything else was grounded in reality. The people walking up to the house in a line looked perfectly normal, except for their behavior. The white figure didn't do anything profound but stand there. The voice said a simple phrase. There was nothing behind me. The monster was never seen. The fanciful elements of the dreams weren't that unrealistic. Someone could even conclude the roar in the dream from the monster wasn't a monster at all. Those pieces seemed to be inside me, even within the dream.

What was profound was having people present in the dream.

They say when you near the end of life, sometimes you can see relatives long since deceased returning to console you in your waning days. Now, I don't think for one minute I was dying, but I was having a profound change in my life. For that reason, the people that had been most dear to me in my life to that point appeared:

My grandparents

My parents

My wife and children

As the dreams happened, I misinterpreted the meanings at that time. The dream about Niney, I thought, was about her and missing her. The dream where Leslie had a convulsion suggested concern about her. The dream with Maw Maw and Paw Paw and my mother seemed like reminiscing about times past until something was behind me. The monster was after me and the children. Even my dogs at the time got into the action at that moment.

None of the dreams were about them, though. It was a warning for me, and when you see the interpretations below, it will make sense why I was being warned about the insidious disease known as diabetes.

Dream 1: A Knock at the Door

This dream was warning me that I was now pre-diabetic. It made sense that the first person to come and warn me about my impending diabetes journey would be the person I saw diabetes ravage the most. Niney, my grandmother, deteriorated from diabetes over the span of seven years. I had a front-row seat to it as I grew up. Not only was she alive and well, she was walking around helping me do stuff in the dream, which would have been impossible for her to do in this world. Her legs had been amputated leading up to her death, so the spiritual realm had manifested new ones for her.

She came to warn me because my body had shifted from the previous year. The last time I had an A1c done was in March 2018. That year my A1c was 5.6, so normal. However, I was 0.1 points away from being classified as pre-diabetic. By May 2019, my weight had increased substantially, and I struggled to run sometimes. Had I had an A1c check in March 2019, my A1c would have been 5.7-6.4 at least. The reason for this can be shown in pictures an Atlanta Braves game in 2018 and Halloween 2019:

Braves Game May 2018

Halloween 2019

Look at my weight gain between these two images, a little over a year apart. Even in the pic from 2018, I had to suck in my gut a little. In my face, however, you could see the excess weight. The excess weight was apparent in the Halloween picture as my jumpsuit fit me rather tightly. 

I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life. Nearly 10 years earlier, my weight was in this same category, prompting me to take action to try to lose weight and become healthier. But 10 years of time takes its toll on a person, balancing work and life, and a PhD. By December 2019, I was over 250 lbs, if not more. For my build, that was way too much. Niney was trying to warn me, but the warning went unheeded. Hence, the next set of dreams.

Dreams 2 and 3: Someone is Here, and There is Someone Walking Behind You

I'm putting these two dreams together because they happened a week apart. I've now interpreted the white ghost-looking figure to be the Holy Spirit. This was the day I became classified as diabetic. By this date, April 2020, we were amid the pandemic. As such, I wasn't willing to go anywhere much unless I just had to. So, going to get an A1c check for my annual birthday check-up did not happen. Had I gone and had my A1c checked, then the score would have been 6.5 or above. My weight had done nothing but go up over the past year. All running had ceased. My exercise routine was not consistent. My diet was horrible. I'm certain I wasn't alone about the diet considering most people were stressed by what was happening due to the pandemic. Comfort food was a must then.

But at the end of Dream 2, the voice says someone is here. After that, the pulse wave sensation shot out from the core of my body in all directions when I awoke. That sensation came almost from the spot where the pancreas is located. Your pancreas is near the intestines and stomach, not far from the Xiphoid Process on the sternum. I believe this was the exact moment I became diabetic. Leslie's reaction to convulsing and passing out had to do with what was wrong with me and the realization that something profound had happened. 

But the voice. That voice was the Holy Spirit, letting me know it was there. It was going to be there to continue trying to warn me. The Holy Spirit was trying to let me know something life-changing had happened to me. I would have to come to grips with it sooner or later.

Dream 3 was a further warning trying to get me to see. Something walking up behind me was diabetes overtaking me. The ghost, or whatever it was, was within me. I saw nothing behind me because it was already inside me. The insidious way of diabetes began working on my body, filling my mother with fear in the dream. This starkly contrasted how my mother would have responded to her baby being affected by something in real life. The fear was not in her but within me. The manifestation of symptoms of diabetes had only just begun but was in full swing by late 2020.

In late October 2020, I had another bizarre encounter involving bedtime. This was no dream, though. Whatever happened took place while I was still awake.

I had gotten out of bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Leslie and the kids were all asleep, and I crawled back into bed. When I did, though, I felt something come up behind me and put its arms around me. For a split second, I thought I saw the shape of a nose out of the corner of my eye. I started drifting back to sleep, but this grabbed my attention. This action awoke me immediately, and I looked across the bed to see that everyone in the room was still asleep. For a moment, I thought maybe Leslie had gotten up and gone to the bathroom and, on her way back, decided to hug me in my sleep. Literally seconds, from my perspective, had passed since I left the bathroom and returned to bed. There was no way Leslie did this action or even one of the kids.

Although this could have been an alarming thought, who just touched me as I went back to sleep? Honestly, I was calm. I laid my head back down and drifted back off to sleep. It was comforting and made me feel peaceful. Nothing was scary about this because it was like someone or something had hugged me. I believe again this was the Holy Spirit, if not Christ Himself.

The next day, I looked to see what getting a hug from behind meant. That is one of the most comforting things a person can do because the person being hugged is vulnerable, and this type of hug offers reassurance. Doesn't that sound like something God would do? This is a significant moment, separate from the dreams but certainly tied to them. The hug signified that God was with me to help comfort me through whatever was about to happen with diabetes. It was also significant that this was the first time I showed symptoms of an elevated A1c. Urinating frequently, especially in the middle of the night, is a sign of poor sugar control. My body was just beginning to show issues, and it would only worsen in the months ahead.

God was trying to console me because the big reveal was headed my way.

Dream 4: The Monster

By March 2021, I was highly symptomatic of diabetic issues related to the exceptionally high A1c of 10. Weight loss had begun. I urinated frequently at night to get the excess sugar out of my body. I was fatigued, irritable, and worn out. It should be no surprise that one final dream came at one of the darkest times of my life in recent history. A time when I was at a crossroads of despair. This was the final attempt by God to help me understand what was happening to me.

The monster in the dream was not a literal monster, though. It was the monster within me. The monster of diabetes taking its toll on my body and well-being. I was losing, and if this dream didn't serve to wake me up to what was going on, nothing would. Who knows where my life might have gone from there if this dream hadn't occurred.

I remember waking up from that dream, realizing how quickly it happened, and thinking, How is that possible? I just had a dream that fast and that vivid? The dream happened over a 30-minute period that morning. The others happened during sleep at night, but this one was a literal nap by comparison. However, you typically remember dreams right before you awaken, so most likely, all the dreams happened in a short sleep period. God works in mysterious ways.

I knew from that dream and things going on in March 2021 that something else was happening besides stress and difficulties at home, work, or school. Something was wrong with me. Finally, I got checked out and had the reveal of the A1c of 10. It all made sense instantly.

Why did it take nearly 2 years to figure this out?

Well, that's because of how our reality works. You see, in heaven, time has no meaning. When God does something, it happens instantly for Him. But for us here on Earth, it could be years, even centuries, as events unfold.

2 Peter 3:8-9 reads:

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

That verse puts it all in perspective. God knows what is happening to us and works to help us, but we also must realize how His time scale works. The timing of His help was perfect. It also makes sense from the verse. To quote James T. Kirk's line from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan:

"Hours instead of days. Now we have minutes instead of hours."

From God's perspective, He was quickly trying to help me see what was happening, but the time scale here on earth put that relative position over years for me. Two years had to go by for me to receive the completed message. It was all for His glory. I honestly can't think of a better way to prove the existence of God than this as well. Reading all these dreams and the analysis, I can't think of a better way to help a non-believer understand how God works and why you must operate from His time scale and not your own.

Since March 3, 2021, I haven't had another vivid dream again. Like I've said, I've had some typical run-of-the-mill goofy dreams since that time. But I have had no dreams like these four ever again. That hug sensation has never happened again.

I just know He is there. He's watching, praying, and working for me and anyone who needs Him. This is just my story of how God intervened and helped me. He intervenes more than you realize, but sometimes it goes unnoticed. He did this for me because my actions led me to something profound in my life. I wasn't near death, but maybe I was headed toward a rough life in the years ahead with my health. I still have much work left to do.

I'm grateful for the help He has given me. Maybe He's helping you too.

That concludes the Dream Analysis, and for the next post, we'll go into what I did to help me overcome the fear, the physical issues, and other constraints of diabetes, so much so that my provider won't even classify me as being diabetic.

I did it all through Him. Thank you, Jesus.