10: The Future...

“All good things must come to an end.”

 

Poignant words spoken by the character Q in the final episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. But it is a true quote, because all things do eventually end. That’s why today’s blog is the final blog of 10 that I’ll be posting for a while.

 

As I sit here on the beach at Surfside, a place my family has frequented for nearly 40 years now, it seems only appropriate that this would be the setting for my final entry in this tale.

“It’s been a long road, getting from there to here,” as the lyrics of the short-lived Star Trek: Enterprise series once had for the opening credits. I always thought that was a unique way to start a new series, way back when. It certainly has been a long road for me on this journey of living with diabetes. Now encompassing 3 years since I first receive the phone call that ill-fated morning on a rainy, March day. But that day spawned something different me that has resonated throughout the years since.

 

It's never been about the destination, but the journey. Going to the beach is always fun, in fact more fun sometimes that reaching the beach altogether. The camaraderie with family and friends, the laughs, the blessings of being with those you love cannot be overstated. That’s what makes a journey so great. Of course, there are sad moments, angry moments, scary ones too. A journey is never one way or the other. It ebbs and flows just like the tides, washing in and out.

 

When I think back about this journey, I sometimes don’t think of it as a linear timeframe. I think more about the unknown possibilities of existence. What if?... is another favorite show of mine from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The decisions we make can, and probably do, create alternate universes where something different happened there from the reality we know. I sometimes wonder where my life would be right now at the A1c of 10 never occurred? My most common thought goes to the decision to go to Employee Health for what ended up being the final time. What if I had chosen to skip again, like I had in 2019 and 2020? Of course, another possibility comes to mind as this was the last employee check-up provided by AnMed Health. The hospital ceased doing birthday check-ups on employees in 2022. So, what if that had happened a year earlier? Would I have had greater complications that would have been irreversible? Would I even be alive today?

 

You can what if yourself into a quandary if you allow it. But that is where faith comes into play. Jesus said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, there’s enough worry today.” He’s perfectly right. What happened occurred the only way it could for me, from a more linear perspective. It was the story of my life and the direction it was meant to go. The reason? It led me closer to God.

 

So, over the past 15 months I’ve embrace the path that Jesus set me on to tell the tale of this journey. It’s been a wonderful experience filled with pitfalls and possibilities ripe with promises of a joy and hope. I’ve been able to share how my battle living with diabetes has shaped me into the man I am now. How COVID can wreak havoc in ways we might always believe possible, but ultimately learn are true. How a person can change their fortune by simply having faith in something greater than themselves. I’ve had many blessings over the past 3 years that have helped me greatly with my body, my mind, and my spirit.

As I sit here typing, sand between my toes, I ponder another what if. I remember thinking this past fall would I ever go to the beach again? Last year, of course, was the issue with Afib and the fear, anxiety it caused me taking months to recover from. I was truly scared to travel anywhere again for months. What if I had allowed that fear to grip me completely? I was so petrified of driving, at times I was afraid to simply drive to work. Several times I had to call my wife or my mom to talk me through an issue I was having driving my truck. I was that scared of what had happened. I didn’t want to do anything to make it happen again.

 

This issue with Afib could have set me back greatly, had I let it. But, again, God showed me the way through that ordeal. Now, I’m sitting on a beach with my family, enjoying the breeze and the waves, feeling like a kid again. So many times I have come to this beach with Maw Maw and Paw Paw, my parents, Niney, Nick, Travis, my in-laws Jim and Brenda, and of course Leslie and our kids, Abby and Charlie. There’s truly never been a better place to be for me. I remember the first time I came to the beach at the condo at Surfside, in December 1986. I was 9 years old, and this place looked massive. But it was so beautiful, I couldn’t have imagined wanting to be anywhere else. Many times we have come here over the past 38 years. The condo has endured a lot in that time, between storms, winds, rain, high tides, and hurricanes, but it still goes on. The outside colors have changed, but the structure remains the same. The furniture is new, but the atmosphere never grows old. The familiar sounds of the past echo through the halls of the new.

 

That’s the journey that matters the most. Cherishing those moments that come and pass, with hope for the future. In the summer of 1990, Back to the Future III came out that had a wonderful statement from Doc Brown at the end:

That statement epitomizes the future for us all, and especially the future of my life living with diabetes. I may never do away with the condition, but I can certainly learn to live with it. Over the past year and half I have been living well with diabetes with A1cs 5.6 or less. Doing that helps me greatly, and hopefully will guide me towards a future filled with prosperity knowing I’m doing all I can to help myself and others. That’s always been the point of this blog, to share my journey with all of you in the hopes it will help someone else through theirs. So, whether you are working through diabetes, anxiety, Afib, a heart attack, back concerns, a cancer diagnosis, all of these things can be navigated equally the same through the thoughts and feelings I’ve shared with you. Because at the center of it all is Jesus, helping me understand my place in this world so I can carry on forward to the future He has set.

 

With that, I hope you all have a wonderful week yourselves, coming on the heels of Father’s Day. Love those around you with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. I know my journey is nowhere near complete, but much like Star Trek: The Next Generation, “All good things must come to an end.” As this blog ends, my journey continues. Perhaps sometime in the future I’ll return with more stories to tell of the journey. But for now I want to focus on that which matters most in the image below.

“See you out there…

10: May the A1c be with you

At the close of May, I get to report a real-time reading of my A1c. On May 29, 2024, I went to my primary care provider (PCP) and had a 6-month check-up to see how my sugars have been.

In November, my A1c was 5.5 and, for the first time, went down during the Fall instead of up. In the previous 2 years, my A1c increased to 5.8 each time. It was perplexing how my A1c would increase in the Fall compared to the Spring. I never felt like my A1c should have gone up during the fall. In the Fall of 2021, my weight never changed from August until November, but the A1c went from 5.6 to 5.8. But then, in the Spring of 2022, as my weight increased by 8 lbs, my A1c went back down to 5.6. 

That change in A1c taught me that weight is not the real factor in determining someone's sugar control. How much they eat and how much they exercise does factor in. Additionally, genetics play a huge factor. The more something runs in a family, the more likely future generations will acquire it. Although I didn't do enough to help myself before 2021, I was fortunate to be able to make the needed changes to improve my circumstances. The motivation is what can be hard.

Not everyone who has ever had a high A1c can testify to being highly motivated to correct it. Sometimes, the news of an A1c of 10 could seem insurmountable. You spent your whole life getting to this high A1c; how could you change it in a few weeks' time? 

It's very much like Luke Skywalker trying to become a Jedi. From Luke's perspective, something sudden came up, and he had to determine where to go. He pursued a path that changed his life forever. It led to an awakening that gave him the power to overcome all obstacles and set things right for his life. Another figure has a similar story to this fictional character, Jesus Christ. Jesus, too, had a moment in His life that forever changed its course. People love a heroic story.

I'm not comparing myself to Luke Skywalker or Jesus Christ, just the journey. We all embark on a journey, and the final destination is uncertain. But if you have faith, believe in something greater than yourself and yourself, and strive to do your best, you can accomplish anything. Both of these men also had a lot of help along the way in guiding them. I, too, have had the same. So, today, it's my privilege to share the final result:

All my other vitals and blood work were normal, except for a blood glucose of 110. That was up this morning for whatever reason, but it had no bearing on where my A1c was for the last 3 months. This signifies that for the last year and a half, my A1c has been completely normal, with no elevations above 5.6. 

An accomplishment like this is not easy, but anyone can do it. The key is faith. 

So, where do we go from here? Well, first things first, celebrations are in order. I celebrated by eating the one thing I've been holding aside for months to enjoy, a Whatchamacallit bar. I love those things! Next is starting back up again to keep it going for 6 months. How will I do that, you ask?

Tune in next time for 10: The Future...

10: Nurse's 5K

 

The Nurses 5K was the first run/walk by the South Carolina Nurses Association (SCNA) and the South Carolina Nurses Foundation (SCNF). I've worked with SCNF since 2020, attending my first meeting right before the pandemic began in February that same year. It's been a wonderful experience being part of SCNF for the past four years, which has culminated in me being the President of SCNF currently. Last year, the President of SCNA, Angela Dykes, came up with the idea of SCNA and SCNF teaming together to host the Nurses 5K in 2024 as a way to raise scholarship funds for nurses and student nurses across South Carolina. Our goal is to promote the profession of nursing, celebrating it as one of the most trusted professions in the world.

At the time we began formulating this plan, I was stoked. Immediately, I wanted to do all I could to help make the Nurses 5K a reality. At that point in 2023, I had already run multiple 5Ks and had at least two more I planned to do, including America's 5K in July. Little did I know then, however, that America's 5K would be the last one I participated in until the Nurses 5K.

On July 1, 2023, I ran the race at 30:40, which isn't bad for a 46-year-old man. I was tired afterward because it was hot and muggy in summer. After the race, we loaded up for vacation at Wilderness at the Smokies for our summer family getaway. After that vacation, though, was when COVID hit the household, leading to my issues with Atrial Fibrillation (Afib). As mentioned before, at the beginning of June, I received a clean bill of health from my Cardiologist and was told I didn't have to return for 2 years. I was stoked about that, too. Running the 5K at the beginning of July was just icing on the cake for my health and well-being. So, it was a complete surprise to have Afib impact me.

I was heartbroken, no pun intended, because with my heart accelerating to 170-190 beats per minute, about the same pace it had been doing during many of my runs, that scared me immensely. I've outlined my anxiety extensively to this point, so I won't belabor that issue. But I began to realize my running days were over.

I didn't feel safe running anymore. I was scared it would trigger something in my heart that was irreversible. Fortunately, my heart returned to a normal sinus rhythm without much intervention other than Cardizem. I still take the Cardizem to help with my heart and blood pressure. But despite good things, my mind was not in a good place from late August through the end of December. I struggled mightily with my mentality. I truly am amazed sometimes I could do any of my work I needed to during that time. I can honestly say it was by God's grace that I could work at all.

But one thing that was certain to me was that I wasn't running any more 5Ks. I had already signed up for the Electric City Gobbler 5K in November that year and the Swamp Rabbit 5K in February 2024. Both of those were canceled for me. Then I realized the Nurses 5K would be in May 2024. At first, I wasn't planning to attend.

This saddened Angela, as I initially had told her that my son's birthday would be the same day as the event, so I couldn't come. But the real reason was twofold. One, I wanted nothing more to do with 5Ks and two, I was scared to even approach Columbia, where the Afib had occurred. When I made this statement to Angela in January, I was not over what happened, even though I felt better. I was still debating whether I could attend the Palmetto Gold Gala, which was also held in Columbia in April. 

I was being ridiculous. That's the truth. In both cases, I was the President of SCNF, and the expectation was for me to attend both events representing SCNF. In one case, I had to give a speech as the President of SCNF during the Palmetto Gold Gala. The other, SCNF, benefited the most from funds received from the Nurses 5K to support scholarships. The President of an organization has to be there. It really isn't an option not to attend. Especially at first-time events like the Nurses 5K. Certainly, I wouldn't always have to be there in the years that followed, but not for the first one. For Palmetto Gold, I had to be there.

The Palmetto Gold Gala broke me out of my concerns about going to Columbia. The circumstances of the trip were quite similar to the trip on July 13, 2023, when we drove down then. I was going to be presenting something, and I drove down in my truck. Both concerns went off without a hitch, and Leslie and I had a wonderful evening celebrating others' achievements. 

Going to the Nurses 5K was now not a problem, and we decided to make a weekend trip out of it for the family to celebrate Charlie's 13th birthday, much like we celebrated Abby's birthday back in February at Wilderness at the Smokies. The problem now was simply participating in the 5K with Leslie. The reason that was a concern, the last time I had even walked with Leslie, I had heart issues on Labor Day.

September 2023 was the month that didn't seem to want to end, and the beginning of the month set the tone. On Labor Day, the first time I had ever been off for it while working or attending Clemson, I had a bad panic attack that I mistook for a heart attack. This type of issue not differentiating a heart attack from a panic attack is not uncommon amongst people with severe anxiety issues. There are a lot of similarities between the two. That day, Leslie was out walking with me, enjoying the beauty of the day as I tried to push the distance we walked and increase the time to do so. That was my downfall that day. I landed in the ER, embarrassed at the issue. Since then, I haven't felt completely comfortable walking with anyone, much less attempting to run. Running wasn't really an option.

So, for the Nurses 5K, I was doing both. I was going to walk the entire race with my wife, Leslie. Part of me even thought we might even run a little bit. But running worried me. Any type of running, no matter the pace, gets your heart rate up much more than walking. So, it was a concern, but I was willing to try if we did.

The day of the race was overcast, perfect weather for an early morning run/walk. We had almost 100 participants, and for a change, I went way towards the back because I knew I wasn't running. Once the race began, I felt great. The scenery as we walked the course was also amazing. We walked through some beautiful neighborhoods in Forest Acres in Columbia. Past the golf course, beside nice homes, rolling past the highways. It was nice to participate in a 5K again, even if I only walked. Then Leslie said, "Why don't we run a little bit?"

I knew that phrase was coming. I knew it before the race ever started. I also knew I had to try. So I replied, "Why don't we."

We ran during two stretches of the race. The first was a short section of uphill running on a back road with no one around. I felt fine. So, on the home stretch coming down the highway, we decided to run for the last half mile. I was nervous, but I did it anyway. It felt great to run again, however short the distance might be. We finished strong and crossed the finish line together. As we ran that final stretch, Leslie would gradually increase the pace. She was doing that to help me see I could still do what I had always done.

As I stood there catching my breath from that final half mile, I listened and felt my heart beating. The heart was, of course, beating faster but gradually slowed back to the expected pace. I felt great. I was running again. I had done it. I had run a 5K again.

So, naturally, we are planning to do another 5K. I just signed us up for the Electric City Gobbler in November 2024, a nice way to start the day before eating an enormous amount of Thanksgiving Dinner.

If I can just get my knees to stop bothering me, that's a completely different issue I've been dealing with for 14 years. I think that one is age combined with weight mostly.

But with the first Nurses 5K behind me, I can't wait for the next one. It was a monumental success filled with joy, happiness, togetherness, celebration, and love. I was so happy to be part of it and enjoy working with the people I am associated with in helping set up this amazing event. These events did so much to help me recover from what I endured last year, and I'll never forget that. We'll let you know when next year's event is all set. 

My next event, however, is the next A1c check-up on May 29, 2024. Stay tuned for the next segment, 10: May the A1c be with you. 

10: Heart Follow-Up

April 29, 2024, came a few days after a busy weekend. 

Leslie and I made the trip to Columbia, which was a deeper concern for me than I realized. This trip to Columbia for the Palmetto Gold Gala was my first time anywhere near the city since July 13, 2023. I was anxious about it. It didn't help that I had to speak as the South Carolina Nurses Foundation President in front of 750 attendees. This crowd was the largest I've ever spoken in front of before. A speech like this is anxiety-producing enough but add to it my past issues during the summer of 2023, that only made for greater concerns. On top of this, we decided to drive my truck down, which was the same vehicle we were in the day the Afib happened. It was a harmonic convergence to have all this come together the night of the gala, but that also seemed like the best thing that could have happened.

I drove down to the event without issue. I felt calm, for the most part, and did my speech well. It was a festive, lively evening full of fun and joy. There was no better way to break the cycle of my anxiety than an evening like that. I had returned to Columbia and came back without incident this time. That meant I was ready to have my heart checked out.

My appointment with the Cardiologist was at 8:50 AM that Monday morning, and our new refrigerator decided to show up at 8 AM that same morning. Nothing like stress on stress. I was already a little worried about the heart check-up, so why not add on our 20-year-old refrigerator dying and the new one arriving as early that morning as possible. I was in a mad dash, taking stuff out of the fridge and getting trash together before heading to the doctor. They got the new fridge in without issue, and I said, adios, then ran out the door.

I just arrived at the doctor at 8:50 and only had to wait a few minutes. But the whole time, I was calm. I was the calmest since last June when I came in for a 1-year check-up. I walked in and got my weight, sat down, let the assistant hook me up to the electrocardiogram (EKG), and had my vital signs taken.

My BP pressure was awesome, 123/86, with a heart rate 78. My weight was up to 219 lbs. On November 1, during that follow-up visit, my weight was 204 lbs. So, I had gained 15 lbs in 6 months. I didn't like that, but I have a reason that I believe is true. We'll get to that reason in a minute. After the EKG was finished, the assistant disconnected me, asked a few questions about my medications and other things, and then left the room. When the provider came in, everything was normal.

My EKG back in October showed Normal Sinus Rhythm but with still some mild ST depression. Now, to help you understand ST depression, it can have various causes. One cause is a blockage in the heart, which was ruled out for me. I had a perfusion test to see if blood flow in my heart was good, and everything came back normal. So, no blockage. Another reason is more psychological in nature. Anxiety, especially severe anxiety, can also cause ST depression and T wave inversion. I had both of these EKG changes back in September 2023. What this meant was I was suffering from severe anxiety as a result of the Afib. The anxiety was releasing cortisol and adrenaline and thus increasing my metabolism, too. I also started eating less. I began eating less to help with a potential blockage I thought I might have, so naturally, that made my weight go down. But, the anxiety was also making my weight drop.

Due to the fight or flight response that was in overdrive for me from the beginning of September through the end of December, I dropped weight rapidly. I spoke before about cool waves surging through me sometimes and almost minor panic attacks trying to happen if I didn't eat at certain intervals. All of that was anxiety-related. But until I had the all-clear on November 1, 2023, from the Cardiologist and came off the Eloquis, my anxiety wasn't letting up. Until we went to Jacksonville, my anxiety over going on trips wasn't letting up. Finally, until I stepped foot back in Columbia, SC again, my anxiety wasn't letting up completely.

But, finally, on Monday, April 29, 2024, I could say to my cardiologist, without any hesitation, I felt fine. After 9 and 1/2 months of a highly stressful situation unfolding that wasn't done until that day, I finally felt completely like myself again. I had begun to feel better almost immediately after returning from Jacksonville. Therefore, my metabolism wasn't on high alert anymore like it had been, and I was now only burning the sugar I consumed. That's why I had lower blood sugars a few times in January when I wasn't eating as much. I had to increase my food intake to help out. I had already been trending upward in weight about a month after the November visit. At my A1c visit on November 29, I weighed 205 lbs. On February 1, I weighed in at 210 for my kidney follow-up. So, it's no surprise my weight continued upwards because I was finally feeling good again. I was back at the weight I had been before the Afib hit in July.

With my EKG being normal, my blood pressure being normal, no Afib being present on the loop monitor for the whole 6 months, and everything looking and sounding good, my provider told me to come back in 1 year to reassess. That was a relief. It was truly a blessing to know my heart was essentially back to normal after all that happened that day.

But next up would be the bigger check-up--my next A1c on May 29. So, my goal is to lose some weight between now and then, but based on my blood sugar readings for the last few months, everything feels on par with what I usually do. So, I'm hopeful there is no upward trend. We shall see with that check-up in a month.

For now, it felt like smooth sailing, so much so that my wife and I decided to do something together we hadn't done in a while. We're doing a 5K again, this time in Columbia.

Tune in next time for 10: Nurse's 5K.

10: The Days Ahead

One of Leslie's 4 cakes she got for her birthday says it all for the days ahead for me.

The days ahead in May will tell how my health is doing lately. I've been feeling much better than I did by the end of 2023, but any time you have to go to the doctor, you wonder what will come up.

I have a few things I have to overcome.

For one, Columbia, South Carolina. I last was there on July 13, 2023, when I had Afib. Although I'm over the travel aspects of what occurred that day with COVID and Afib after going to Jacksonville in December, I haven't been to Columbia, even in the vicinity, since July 2023. So, of course, from April 27 until June 22, 2024, I'll have to go to or through Columbia 3 times. Leslie and I will attend the Palmetto Gold Gala in Columbia on Saturday, April 27. Then, my family and I will attend the Nurse's 5K inaugural event on Saturday, May 18, and spend the weekend in Columbia. Finally, we'll pass through Columbia twice on our way to the beach in June as we head to Surfside for a family vacation.

Those will be some big milestones to overcome since the last time I was there was a hospital visit. But I have faith it will all go well. I'm all in on that.

But in addition to overcoming fears, I'll have two big doctor visits.

On April 29, I go for a heart check-up with my Cardiologist, the 6-month appointment to see how things have progressed since November. I'll go for my A1c check-up and another 6-month re-evaluation at the end of May. In both cases, I had good reports in November, with my heart having no blockages and no further Afib, coming off of Eloquis, and then my A1c was the lowest I have had since March 31, 2021, at 5.5. Those results were huge for both my physical and mental well-being. So, naturally, I have mixed emotions about what is to come for the 6-month checkups.

I hope my heart is fine and my A1c remains at the 5.6 level or lower. During these 6 months, though, I've seen my weight increase. I was 204 lbs and 205 lbs at each visit in November. Currently, I sit at 215 lbs. That's not a huge weight increase but concerns my diet and how well I have managed.

Of course, back in January, I had some issues with lower blood sugars, which was a concern. Since then, I've been prone to eating more because I don't want my sugars to be too low again. However, there may also be another factor in weight gain.

During the fall, I was extremely stressed because of my heart. My anxiety was the highest I have ever experienced in my life. This extra stress undoubtedly contributed to some of my weight loss. I actually had to slow my weight loss down to prevent going too low, as I also altered my diet. My anxiety never resolved until I increased my Lexapro and made the trip to Jacksonville. I was incredibly nervous about going on any trip then. But, following the trip, I was back at ease. I felt like myself again, and I was happy. So, now, with the Lexapro firmly in my system and feeling much better, it shouldn't be much of a surprise that my weight has gone back up. I've also eaten a little more than before November, which has contributed. I'm sure my provider will want to check to see if my thyroid could be acting up. Anything is possible.

But since January, I have felt much better, calm, at ease, and peaceful. Stress always abounds, and I let the ploy get to me some, but I also realized it. My blood sugars have also been fine since January too. Here are my entries since the beginning of February:

2/7/2024-82

2/10/2024-72

2/14/2024-101

2/17/2024-100

2/21/2024-94

2/24/2024-96

2/28/2024-93

3/2/2024-95

3/7/2024-99

3/9/2024-84

3/13/2024-88

3/16/2024-88

3/20/2024-115

3/22/2024-99

3/23/2024-90

3/26/2024-110

3/27/2024-99

3/30/2024-92

4/3/2024-100

4/6/2024-95

4/11/2024-89

4/13/2024-90

4/17/2024-90

4/20-2024-100

My blood sugar average since February 7 has been 94, hopefully translating into a solid A1c in May. My blood sugar average from August through November was 90, translating to a 5.5 A1c. Before that, my blood sugar average was 88.6, with an A1c of 5.6. Putting in perspective, the last time my A1c was 5.8 in November 2022, my blood sugar average was 91.1. However, when my A1c was 5.6 in May 2022, my average blood sugar for 3 months was 93.7.

Average blood sugar doesn't predict anything, other than that my A1c will most likely be 5.something, but will it be over 5.6, the same, or below again?

That's the question we'll have to wait and see. For now, I want to lose some weight, keep exercising, and enjoy the next few weeks leading up to the check-ups. 

I'll let you know how these turn out in the next segment of 10: Heart Follow-Up.

10: The Ploy

The schemes of the devil can be interesting.

Have you ever been tempted by anything? Usually, when temptation comes, it's in the form of something you really want. Other times, temptations can be things welling up inside you that you let guide you astray. 

A good rule of thumb is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I've often heard people speak about the Internet being the tool of the devil. Well, that is true, but it's also true that you get out of anything from whatever you put into it.

That means if you're constantly seeing things luring you into stuff you probably shouldn't be doing, it's generally because you accept it and look for it. For instance, porn sites don't seek people out, you seek them. 

Loan assistance companies don't send people letters at random. Those letters are generated because the companies can access our records and see how much debt we have, thus making it our individual fault when those letters are received. 

No one makes you mad. You make yourself mad. Think about that last one the next time someone brings up politics, vaccines, or anything that triggers an angry feeling inside you. Were you really mad at them or at you?

I would tend to believe that 99.9% of the time, the devil's schemes work on us because we let it. That's because the devil is scheming 0.1% of the time. That's really all it takes to do us in. A fleeting thought. A word in a message. The look someone gives you, good or bad. When those things occur, the devil latches on to it and entices us to act. Movies make it seem like the devil acts grandiosely to torment and attack us, whether it is The Exorcist, The Devil's Advocate, or The Omen. But these are Disney World Theme Park attractions, meant only for entertainment. The devil doesn't actually work like that.

All you need to do is go back and read the story of Adam and Eve to see how the devil truly works. He took one phrase, spoken by God, and twisted it around to tempt Eve into doing something she knew was wrong. That's it. It's that simple.

One thing Satan, Lucifer, and the devil hate is people accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior.

"Hell lost another one. I am free. I am free. I am free." That's a favorite lyric of mine from the song I Thank God by Maverick City Music & Upperroom. The song explains why salvation is so important. It changes us for good. In the end, Hell no longer has a hold on us. Therefore, the devil no longer has a hold on us. But can he still attack, misdirect, and torment in his subtle ways and devices? Absolutely! That is all the devil has left once you're saved by Christ.

For that reason, the weeks following the baptism of my family saw more tormenting than any time leading up to that weekend. Confusion, missteps, doubt, all of these feelings and emotions crept in, trying to undo things God had put into place for me and my family. If for no other reason than to disrupt and detract from meaningful and purposeful things to God. 

The weekend of the baptism saw everyone in my family having sinus and upper respiratory issues leading up to that precious moment. Except for me. Of course, the thought went through my mind. Do we need to wait for this? Let everyone get well first? Well, that seems like a logical thing to do. If people aren't feeling well, maybe postponing it isn't a bad idea. However, you must believe that what God provides will work out as God intends. What if putting off the baptism had caused another issue, opening the door for a larger problem? Perhaps putting off the baptism might have led to more doubt and ultimately deciding not to do it.

We got through baptism without issue. But it has been quite interesting since the baptism. Now that Satan cannot have us, he can stir things up. That's all he has left. In the weeks following the baptism, many things started unraveling at home, work, and even some for the kids in school. Nothing major, but enough to be aggravating for us all. These attacks came in the form of texts that hit the wrong way. Issues with our dogs. Both vehicles needing maintenance at the same time. Internet issues, especially when looking into things related to Christ. Weight changes related to dieting that irritated more than anything. Finding out that one of our children may need surgery. It is nothing overly serious, but it is still a concern. Any and everything to distract from the one thing Satan, the devil, cannot stand--joy.

Once you know you are in Christ, and in our case as an entire family now, there is no greater joy. Satan HATES that. All you can do when Satan makes those attacks is pray to Jesus to intervene, and He will. Don't let things, however big or small, steal your joy in Christ.

Now, it is time to work through the needed changes to improve the days ahead, especially leading up to the next A1c check in May. Stay tuned for the next installment of 10: The Days Ahead.

10: The Baptism

 

For many years now, our family has been baptized. But for Leslie and I, we wanted to let our children make their own decisions about their faith in Christ. Like our children, Leslie was baptized as a baby in the Methodist Church. In the Methodist Church, you don't do baptism by immersion in water but through being sprinkled instead. It's a simpler process of being baptized in Christ than dunking in a tank. This method of baptism, being sprinkled, was what I had done when I was 12 years old and first accepted Christ as my savior.

At that time, I truly believed I was saved and saw a change in my life, mindset, and faith, even as a teenager. That next year, I went through confirmation classes to learn more about why Christ died for us, the resurrection, and how you live through Christ. Leslie attended confirmation classes around the same age to confirm her faith in Christ.

But neither of our children had ever considered salvation on their own. We knew they understood who Christ was, but had they truly ever been saved or accepted Christ as their savior? Having them baptized as infants was a wonderful experience for Leslie and me, but neither of our children remembered what happened. I always knew the discussion of salvation would come up again as the kids got older.

Finally, in 2023, that discussion began. We had switched churches and essentially began anew at  NewSpring. It had been an interesting road getting to this point. For many years, we were against NewSpring, largely because of jealousy. NewSpring had grown by leaps and bounds and was bringing new people to Christ every day, it seemed. Despite any turmoil that had ever occurred there, a presence drew people to that church. God was that presence.

In recent years, Leslie and I had been considering leaving Trinity, especially after my time playing Jesus ended with the Journey to the Resurrection in 2019. We both felt it was time to try something new. But complacency set in, and we attended church sporadically for the next year. Then COVID hit. Because of that, I didn't feel safe going anywhere for two years. We had heard horror stories of entire congregations being COVID from going to church during the pandemic. So, we spent much time watching church online, but it was still mostly Trinity. Finally, in March 2022, two years after the pandemic began, we returned to Trinity in person. The first sermon played one of my favorite songs, Shout to the Lord. I had tears in my eyes because not only was it two years later that we returned in person to church but also a year anniversary since my A1c issues had begun. I was also nearing completion of my dissertation, so a lot culminated in 2022.

However, once the dissertation was done and COVID didn't seem like a large issue, I started feeling this tug at my heart that it was time to move on. The pandemic has provided an opportunity to look elsewhere for a new church family, as the messages no longer resonated with me. My faith hadn't wavered. We felt we needed to go someplace new, especially for our kids. Trinity had good programs, but changes were happening there, and my kids were just beginning to ask questions. We also learned that Fuse at NewSpring has opportunities for children with special needs. With Abby having special needs, Leslie and I felt we should give NewSpring a chance.

We went to NewSpring initially out of convenience since it's only 5 minutes from our house, as opposed to nearly 20 minutes for Trinity. Plus, Leslie told me she always wanted to try it out. So, we went.

I still remember that first time in November 2022. Just walking in made me feel like I was attending a conference. Then, entering the main service auditorium was like entering a large movie theater. We sat near the middle to the back, and I took some pictures. I couldn't help but think I was doing something wrong being there initially. Even posting about it seemed risky. But that was just my baggage. Being at NewSpring was something worthwhile to try. We saw a bunch of people we knew there the first day. Many from our old church. Then the music started playing. You can feel the bass run all through you when the songs play. It really is like being at a concert. Then, the sermon began. I listened intently to what was being said and decided to do something I hadn't done at Trinity. I took notes.

I remember watching that first sermon. The pastor was Dan Lian, who had a lunchbox out for part of it, doing the talking lunch box thing. I remember hearing Abby laugh out loud during it. That warmed my heart because she was paying attention. Then, on my notes, this is what I recorded:

11-20-2022

Supernatural Overflow

Invited

Surrender

Talk out of by stuff

Obey your way

Now, what does all that mean? Honestly, I can't remember, as looking back, I thought I had taken more detailed notes than this. Admittedly, my notes since have become more robust and informative. But supernatural overflow means overflowing in the abundance of things God provides you. You surrender yourself to God's ways, and He provides. I understood the messages that day, and it was a first step toward where it would lead me and my family.

In the months that followed, we hardly ever missed a sermon. In fact, in the year and a half, we have been attending NewSpring, there have only been a few times we didn't attend or watch online, and that was to be at the family members' baptisms at their respective churches. There were several weekends when I had tears in my eyes during the services at NewSpring. My mom told me that was the holy spirit working within me.

As I've mentioned before, I had a lot of bitterness and angst in me during 2023. The culmination of that issue came about in the form of COVID and Afib. But I saw the light, and it was time to make a change for the better in my and my family's life. 

So, after a year of attending NewSpring, we started attending Connect classes to learn more about the church and how to become more involved. After those wonderful classes, my children started attending Fuse on Wednesday nights. I still remember them fussing about going. Now, they fuss if they don't go. One night in December, Leslie and I learned that Abby had raised her hand at Fuse to give her life to Christ. A few weeks later, Charlie did the same thing. Now was the time to reaffirm our faith in Christ, and I could think of no better way than to do it together at NewSpring.

Being up there that day and getting baptized as a family was the greatest gift I could ever receive. We had our family there and had been establishing a connection with those in the congregation through Fuse and service to NewSpring. We were home, where we needed to be, and had the blessing of showing our love for Christ as one.

But as with all great moments that bring you closer to God, Satan does his best to start trying to tear it apart. But there's a big difference between trying and succeeding. Read the next segment, 10: The Ploy.

10: The White Light

It had been a while since any dreams or unusual happenings occurred while going to sleep. Of course, I had four vivid dreams that were a big wake-up call for my sugar issues that had been affecting me since 2019, rearing their ugly head in 2021. I had the hug from behind later in 2020, which was more of a sleep/wake moment. In August 2023, I had the "It's time" voice that came up in the middle of the night. So, back on March 1, 2024, I had another moment that could go alongside the others.

I was lying in bed and woke up to use the bathroom that night. Nothing was unusual there, and when I went back to bed, I began dosing immediately. But as I drifted off, I saw this intense white light envelope everything. The light was extremely bright, brighter than any light in the room. We always sleep with one light on because I fear the dark. I always have. This fear was much more intense as a child, but as I've gotten older, that fear has subsided and having a light on, plus the TV, is just a common occurrence. But the need for a light began because of fear.

Because the light beside my bed is always on, I don't notice it or the lamp's luminosity. That light is just there. But at that moment, this light was something else. It wasn't that I could see the light, but I could feel it, too. The light was that intense, almost like the sun beaming down on you on a hot day in the summer. But the strangest part was the feeling I got as I saw this intense light. The feeling was like I was slipping away. That sense of slipping away felt strong, like my presence or being slowly left my body. That's when I became alert again.

I sat up and looked around the room. Everything in the room was exactly as it should be, including the lamp beside me. Everyone else was asleep, no issues were present. I laid back down with my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, believing I could make the light happen again. I truly thought all I saw was the light from the lamp beside me, and I had experienced drifting off to sleep. The only problem was I couldn't make the light happen again. No matter how many ways I positioned myself in the bed before finally falling asleep, the light from the lamp was nowhere near as intense. I had the typical reddish, yellowish light that you can see behind your closed eyelids. 

But that sensation and the light didn't unnerve me. I felt peaceful and calm. I didn't have a single concern. The light was radiant and beautiful. You felt so warm in its presence, secure and loving. I waited a few weeks before I told anyone in my family about the light because I wasn't exactly sure what happened, but I started looking up things about seeing a white light when going to sleep.

I saw some things suggesting others have experienced this white light. One suggested alien abduction, which seems far-fetched. Others believe lights you see at night are possibly cars passing by or some other light from outside occasionally. In one case, the person thought someone had broken into their home. The light was so intense that they believed someone was shining it in their face like a flashlight. They woke up fearful, unsure of what took place. They did the same thing I did, looking around the room out of fear for them. They realized no one was there and that the light might have meant something was about to change there. They recently had some changes in their life for the better, and the light was a good sign.

Seeing the light might have corresponded to changes in my life over the past year. The bout with Afib made me put things in perspective. I had to ease my anxieties and rely more on God, probably more than I ever have before in my life. That health concern was much more terrifying than anything I could have experienced in my sleep. But my whole life seemed to be going in the right direction now, at home, at work, everything. Like I said, there were still frustrations sometimes, but that's just part of life. Things were different now, by March 2024. I was in a better place, and perhaps the Holy Spirit was allowing me to experience that, if only for a moment. 

But what was the sensation of slipping away for that brief few seconds? I wasn't near death by any means. Was that what the rapture could feel like? That moment when God takes you up? It was a strange feeling, that is for sure. But, like I said, it wasn't fearful. It was peaceful. Perhaps, if only for a moment, I was being given a glimpse of what true harmony and peace in God feel like. What a blessing that can be.

But a great blessing was to come in the weeks ahead. The baptism of my entire family all at once. Tune in for the next segment of 10: The Baptism.

10: The Journey of Fun

 

As March 2024 approaches, the month has always had a lot of meaning to me. Not only for my birthday on the 27th or spring but also for the approaching summertime. Not even for St. Patrick's Day. March also lets me reflect on a great time in my life- the Journey to the Resurrection. 

For 16 years, I enjoyed the best revival of Christianity imaginable. During late February, until the end of March, and sometimes into April, it was Journey time. For that entire month, practically everyone who attended Trinity United Methodist Church participated in the passion play about the final hours of Jesus Christ's life on Earth. Of course, it culminated with Christ's resurrection, hence the name. But it was one of the most fun times of my adult life, stretching from 2004-2019. In the first year of the Journey, I played the disciple John and followed a traveling group around the church composed of Jesus, Peter, James, John, Mary, and Mary Magdalene. We always referred to the Jesus' as the Jesi, because we had three of them that year. Having multiple traveling groups allowed for various times for people to attend the Journey and walk through immersing them fully in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. I had very few lines; in fact, I only had 4 total in the entire play, but the fun was the atmosphere and camaraderie the Journey offered.

For the next 15 years, however, I played one of the Jesi. So, I went from 4 lines to, well ALL OF THEM. I still can remember the lines from the Journey, especially my favorite scene in the Garden of Gethsemane:

"Father. The time has come to satisfy your plan. Be glorified through me. Open to door to save all people so they may have eternal life. Guard my disciples. My friends for the trial is upon them. You have given them to me, and I have given them the words that you gave me. But Father, my soul is sorrowed to it's depth. If there is any other way, release me from this cup of death. But if there is no other way, be glorified through me so that the whole world may know you. For not my will, but your will."

This scene was a powerful moment for Jesus, showing his humanity in the face of his ultimate mission to save humanity. Truly my favorite moment of the whole performance.

Each spring I started growing a beard in January, so it was nice and full by March for the performance. I would try to diet and get my weight down some coming out of the Christmas holidays. Sometimes I lost a lot and sometimes, eh, not so much. But no matter what I always had fun doing the performance.

We were all a bunch of jokester and of course had things go wrong during the performance. One time the disciples in the upper room got bored and ate all the bread for the scenes. Half the time the rooster wouldn't crow in the Peter denial scene, but then the real live rooster would never shut up during the market scene when Jesus was trying to address the public. One time I broke character for a moment because I was about to smite that rooster and gave it a dirty look. I could barely hear myself think much less talk trying to deliver lines over that ridiculous creature's crowing.

One time, one of the other Jesi was thrown down so hard in the Pilate denial scene, his wig fell off, and the actor had to look down trying to get his wig back in place while still delivering lines. He came out looking like a band member from Nirvana by the time he had to turn around and face the audience. Another time when the Roman guards came to get Jesus in the garden, Judas came in to show he had betrayed Jesus. When Judas came in, James spoke up and said, "Judas Priest." It was hard not to want to laugh at that, but you couldn't when you're standing in front of the audience during a serious moment. So, when stuff like that happened, you just looked down and maintained your composure. Another time Peter, James, and John tried to see who could hit the Upper Room table the hardest with their hands. I had to fight like crazy not to laugh when they all three did this, once again just looking down. I also had the time I started delivering my lines in the waiting area before we went out to do the Market Place scene, but delivered them as The Grinch. You don't really know biblical scripture until you've heard it in the original Whoville Grinchness. :) There was also the time that my cousin was in the crowd in the resurrection scene while I was delivering my lines. When I was done, she yelled, "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" You know, it was my birthday that day, so she knew what she was doing. Everyone else though was probably really confused since it was March and not December.

But there was one time that none of that worked. It was the final performance of the Journey in 2006. I was the final Jesus performing along with my traveling group and we all decided we wanted to go out strong. "Let's go out with a bang" I think is how I put it. Craig Bario was the Judas for my group and like me he is an avid Star Trek and Star Wars fan. So, we jokingly said let's have Jesus and Judas have a lightsaber duel in the Upper Room Scene. There won't be any sharing bread this time! It was funny, all in jest, or so I thought.

You see, when I said let's go out with a bang, I really didn't know what I had just gotten myself into. When I peeked in the Upper Room scene where all the disciples were waiting for the final run through I knew they were up to something. Brandon Grooms said, "We're ready for you, Jesus." He had a big smile on his face. I was now terrified. What are they going to do?

The Upper Room scene is a somber place during the Journey. It's the moment when Jesus first reveals to his disciples that He will not be with them much longer. So, this is a difficult time for Jesus and his followers. There's confusion, distrust, uncertainty, denial, and even anger. So, there's really no room for laughs in this scene at all. It's a serious moment. So, as you can imagine, for this one final time that year, seriousness went right out the window, caught on fire, and crashed into a puddle of gasoline surrounding a propane tank before it exploded.

I actually prayed before I walked into the room alone, asking God to give me strength for whatever was about to happen. I met up with Matthew, played by Patrick McGee, and he delivered his lines per usual. So, no tricks there. I was able to deliver all my lines as I went around the table and over to the bowl and pitcher to fill it with water. After I filled the bowl with water, I placed the towel into it with my hand, and that's when I discovered the first trick.

The water was ice cold!! I mean, really cold. As I stood there for a second, all I could think was, Geeeez, that is freezing! And I've gotta put Peter's feet in that?!?! Have you ever seen Dumb and Dumber? You know that part where Harry has his hands around Lloyd's throat, and Lloyd starts complaining Harry's hands are freezing then screams like a little girl. Yeah, that's what I wanted to do, and I only had part of one hand in the water.

I walked over to Peter, played by Stephan Jones, and sat the bowl beside his feet. Stephan is a really good actor, and the next year he started playing one of the Jesi like me. I'm convinced this final moment in the Journey that year is why he started doing that. We delivered our lines, but I kept having to look down some because I couldn't look at Peter. For the scene, I should have been looking at Peter, but I couldn't look at Stephan playing Peter because I knew what was about to happen. Finally, the moment came when Peter put his feet in the bowl, and Stephan is a good actor remember that. He stuck his feet right into that ice-cold water. It was all I could do not to start laughing. I couldn't look up because I knew if I saw Stephan's face, I was going to start dying laughing. I could only imagine the shock he had when his bare feet went into that water. And then I had to take the rag and ring it out with more water on top of his feet.

So, we got past the Mr. Freeze bowl of cruelty, and I thought, Oh man, they got us good. Wow. I didn't know what they were going to do, but that was a good one. I continued my lines going around the table to have me finish in the spot where I would sit with the other disciples. But as I finished the last part of the lines, "Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them," suddenly I got this thought in my head, do you really think that's all they did?

Remember, we were going out with a bang. When I got to my spot where I kneeled down to join the others at the table, that's when I saw it. There, lying beside the pillow I was about to kneel on was a green lightsaber. It was the lightsaber Qui-Gon Jinn used in Star Wars: Episode I, The Phantom Menace. I looked at, briefly looked over at Craig, who was grinning ear to ear and tried with all my might not to start laughing.

All I could think as I stood there a second looking down at this green lightsaber was, cue Duel of the Fates. I knew Craig had a lightsaber somewhere over there with him. This was it, the chance to see Jesus and Judas duel it out once and for all, winner takes all, right in the Upper Room. But we couldn't actually do the duel because it wasn't scriptural, and they didn't have lightsabers back then...as far as we know.

So, I kneeled down, got comfortable and just decided to ignore the lightsaber and deliver the lines. I was doing good about it, too. I had almost forgotten the lightsaber was there until I had to do one thing. I had to hand Judas a piece of bread and talk directly to him. I dipped the bread in wine (grape juice-this was church after all), leaned forward and started to hand Judas the bread to deliver the line, "What you are about to do, do quickly."

That's when it happened as if the spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn resurrected and used the Force to make his presence known. When I leaned forward, one of my knees brushed the lightsaber that was still lying there. Unfortunately, the area of the lightsaber it hit was the activation button. When my hand reached Judas' to hand him the bread, the lightsaber roared to life, with the familiar hum many people seeing Star Wars movies had heard throughout the years. When the lightsaber came on, Craig almost started laughing as he took the bread. He had the benefit of grabbing the bread and then running out of the room as quickly as he could, all the while trying to hold back laughter as he left. I on the other hand was still having to sit there, now dealing with this lightsaber that was active.

When I leaned back, my knee kept hitting it and now the lightsaber was making noises like it was being struck by another lightsaber, over and over and over. Chris Brown, playing John, was beside me. He reached down, grabbed the lightsaber and threw it aside down to another end of the table away from me. No one saw him do that, but I was starting to crack up. I was almost in tears trying not to laugh and still deliver lines. At this point, every disciple at the table was looking down also trying not to laugh, and certainly none of them wanted to look at me. We all knew if we made eye contact, the show was over. We were all going to die laughing. And I still had lines to say along with Peter before the scene was done.

Mercifully, we made it out of the Upper Room and headed to the garden. When we got there, we had to let the laughter out some. Paul Wright was behind a black wall and played the angel that comes to comfort Jesus in the garden. He came out from behind his toilet seat, as I called it, and asked, "What are y'all doing?" We told him what happened. He just looked back at us, shook his head and went back to his toilet seat. Ok, sidebar moment here, when Paul sat back there, it was just empty space and a chair. To me, it looked like a bathroom stall. Hence, I called it his toilet seat. Now you get the picture.

Fortunately, there were no more antics for the rest of the performance, but that went down as the funniest moment in the history of the Journey to the Resurrection. What made it funnier was that people thought that me, as Jesus, and all the disciples were playing the Upper Room so seriously that time. They were all so humbled and moved by what Jesus was saying and doing, and all of the disciplines were bowing their heads in humility as well, it was a beautiful thing to them. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but hey, we're glad that's how someone saw it. That's all that matters, what the audience saw, and not what we were experiencing. Needless to say, a new rule was made for future Journey performances, no lightsabers allowed.

I wanted to share this story with you because the Journey to the Resurrection was one of the most fun times of my life. Portraying Jesus and helping others come to Christ in this manner was a blessing and one of the most cherished experiences I'll ever have, and I hope they bring the performances back again one day. Being Jesus during that time made me feel a part of Him even more. I could only hope to be like Jesus. But I'll certainly take being saved by Jesus.

But as I've said in prior blogs, Jesus has been with me through thick and thin. He reveals Himself when you least expect it and in ways you can't imagine. Once again, Jesus made Himself known to me around the time that the Journey typically began. Tune in next time for 10: The White Light.

10: One Another, Part 5

My favorite group to be with throughout the years. Leslie, Abby, and Charlie. This final segment of the One Another blog goes out to my family. My Puka, Boomer, and Buck.

I remember when we went to Philadelphia. We had so much fun staying in the hotel downtown. While I attended the conference, Leslie and the kids explored the area. Of course, staying close to the hotel until I could join them. We visited the Liberty Bell and walked the streets of Philadelphia as I sang the Bruce Springsteen song until my whole family wanted me to be quiet, as did some passersby. My favorite part of the trip was going to the stadium complex on the city's outskirts, where all the sports franchises resided. We got to go to Citizen's Bank Park and watch the Phillies play the Atlanta Braves. Of all the teams that could be in town that weekend, the irony was that it was my beloved Bravos. Then we got lost on the metro, meaning we took the wrong one. We just about reached New York because of it, but we found our way back home.

That's the beauty of being lost with the ones you love. At least you're together. Eventually, something will lead you back home. 

I was lost in my overindulgence with gluttony. Drinking all the sweet tea. Eating whatever I wanted. Many of those issues stemmed from being stressed about things beyond my control. One thing I did have, though, were cheerleaders in my back pocket. Leslie and the kids did all they could to help me, but I wouldn't always let them. I let everything bother me instead of relying on my family and God to help me. For instance, look at these two pictures from Halloween. The first one is from Halloween 2019. Leslie looks like her usual beautiful self and as far removed from a witch as anyone can be. The kids look lovely, too. As for me, I'm filling out the Ghostbusters outfit pretty well. A little too well. I was the heaviest I've ever been at that point, heading into 2020. Pictures like this should have been a wake-up call for me, but they weren't. I was too preoccupied with the stressors going on around me that I would just eat and eat as if I were still 17 and didn't gain a pound.

But look at the next picture. This pic is from Halloween 2021. The Ghostbusters outfit is the same one from 2019, and look at the difference in my weight. By Halloween that year, I had lost 30 lbs from where I started at the doctor's office in April, and more than that since 2020. However, much of the initial weight loss was from diabetes taking its toll on my body. By October 2021, though, I was in better shape, feeling good, and had diabetes under control. The belt was the sign. In 2019, which you can't see, the belt was stretched as far as it could go to fit around my abdomen. In 2021, look at all the excess left hanging. Leslie still looks the same because she continues to do things to help herself through diet and exercise. The kids had grown some and continue to do so, but they, too, tried to help me see better ways of doing things.

When I told my family the news of my sugar issues, I remember what Abby did. She saw how the news had bothered me. I told them I had to give up Sweet Tea, which was hard then. When Abby heard that, she quit drinking Sweet Tea too. I told Abby she didn't have to do that. I told her she was still young and could enjoy things if she wanted to. But she didn't like knowing her Daddy couldn't have it anymore, so she didn't want it either. That made me cry that my baby girl, my Boomer, loved me so much that she was willing to give up something she liked to help me.

Charlie was much more concerned about my heart issues that happened in 2023. He usually sits beside me on the couch at night, playing away on his iPad. But he would ask me many questions about my heart and what I experienced. Charlie is curious about many things. But what I love talking to him about more is space and God. Charlie has a simple way of looking at things sometimes. He likes to deal with facts. That will make him a good researcher one day if he chooses that route. In some ways, he helped me see the facts of my heart situation. I would think about things he said and others during the fall of 2023. I began to realize that this situation could have been much worse and the anxiety I was feeling was simply a by-product of what happened. In time, Charlie's calming demeanor was something I latched on to, and I tried to start doing myself some. I'm more high-strung than he is and more like his sister. The sibling rivalry is strong in these two. But seeing how he responded to things helped me see things better.

But that brings me to my beautiful bride. My Puka. She's truly been with me through thick and thin. Especially a whole box of Thin Mints. Aren't Girl Scout Cookies the absolute best? But I've learned not to splurge so much on them like Leslie eats parts of her meals. However, one thing Leslie has taught me a lot about is exercise. She's shown me the importance of working out and how it benefits you. She's been a stalwart when it comes to fitness. One of the greatest things about 2023 for me was when Leslie began working at the YMCA, where she could help others begin their fitness journeys. She's a great hair stylist, but I know how much she loves working out. She's helped me see the importance of it, and I know she helps others, too.

The biggest thing Leslie, Abby, and Charlie have shown me throughout this journey is love. Their love has been something I've clung tightly to, allowing me to overcome all obstacles. That love was given to them by Jesus and is shared by them in the same way He would. They are a blessing to my life, and I thank God daily for having them by my side.

And that's a wrap for the One Another segment of the blog. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have in writing it. Tune in next time for the next segment, 10: The Journey of Fun.

 

10: One Another, Part 4

I've mentioned how my father-in-law, Jim Bowen, has helped me through this journey of high blood sugar. But my father-in-law and mother-in-law, Brenda, have helped me in various ways since March 31, 2021.

Over the years, long before my sugar issues, both Gran and Grandad, as the kids call them, have worked together diligently to carve out better habits in their own lives. Eating better and working out appropriately. Gran always had the best veggie lasagna! She, of course, makes regular lasagna, too, but the veggie was quite tasty and better for you. But one thing she always made that I loved for breakfast was her mini biscuits!! Those were amazing. Granted, you shouldn't eat 20 of them in one sitting, but they were small and, therefore, better for you if you ate them in moderation. That's true of any food, honestly.

However, Brenda has always given sound advice throughout my time with her concerning health. She researches things and determines what works best for herself and those she loves. She also quickly confirms things she has seen online since she has at least 4 healthcare professionals in the family. Not a bad thing to have for anyone. But she's also vigilant because of her previous husband, John. John passed away at a very young age, approximately my age now. That's eye-opening for anyone because it shows how fleeting life can be when you least expect it. 

My father-in-law has a similar life experience with the loss of his spouse, Sharon, Leslie's mother. She was even younger than John when she passed away from the effects of ALS. In both cases, they share a bond of losing a spouse in their younger years but gaining love later. For that reason, they know true tragedy and how to carry on.

Having high blood sugars and then Afib were not tragedies. Had I died from something, that would have been a tragedy. What both of them showed me was how I could overcome those issues and carry on. They understood how scary it can be to have a condition, but they were always quick to remind me that things can get better. 

My father-in-law has had his share of health concerns, but he's never let that dictate his life. He was an avid kayaker when I first married Leslie. So much so that he took Leslie and me on our first river rafting excursion in 2003. Then, later, we had kayaking lessons that allowed him to share his favorite activity with us.

I had always wanted to go river rafting since seeing the film River Wild, one of my favorites of all time. So, when we had the chance to go down the Ocoee River in Tennessee, I was nervous but stoked. It was something new I had never tried. But I picked up on it pretty well. Well, enough that the next year, we tried the kayaking. The biggest thing I wanted to learn to do with kayaking was rolling. I tried it in the pool a few times but wanted to do it on the open river. But to Mr. Bowen, that wasn't the most important thing. What was important was learning the basics of kayaking and enjoying it.

There was one particular point in our kayaking excursion that Leslie and I, in separate kayaks of course, had to go down a stretch that was long ahead of my father-in-law. That seemed uneasy to us, but Mr. Bowen knew we could do it. And we did do it, in various ways. I went down first and got turned around backwards because of partially getting caught in an eddy. An eddy is a section of the river that is not moving compared to the flow of the river, and thus you have to maneuver around it to be sure you don't roll over and possibly have to bail out of the kayak. So, I went down the stretch blind, but came out ok in the end. Leslie followed after me and got caught in the same eddy, but in her case it unnerved and caused her to flip some because she got too close a strainer. A strainer is a section of the river with a bunch of tree branches or roots sinking down and it catches you like a strainer in a sink. Leslie held on to the limbs with all her might as he dad came down behind her and allowed her to grab hold of his kayak. We then retrieved her kayak and paddle and started back down the river again.

But the moral of that story was, life will throw you lots of curveballs. Sometimes they will twist you all around, but you still have to balance yourself and move through in whatever way you can. Sometimes those curveballs will knock you off your path, and you might have to hold on for dear life, but ultimately there is someone that can assist you. In this case, Christ. We always have the help we need, when we need it. As I went down the river backward I wasn't scared, because I knew I had protection, not only from those with me, but from Jesus too. For Leslie, she was ok after that incident, but also had protection waiting on those that loved her to help and through Jesus as well.

We always have God on our side to support us and help us through challenging things. Jesus also presents us with people who can help us here. Gran and Grandad, Jim and Brenda, my in-laws, have been there for me as much as anyone else I have named thus far.

But there is still one last group of people I haven't mentioned that have helped on this journey day in and day out. You'll read about them in the next segment of 10: One Another, Part 5.

10: One Another, Part 3

 

My mom posted this picture a few weeks ago, showing me, my dad, and her together at the beach for my first trip. That's a blessing I've had for my entire life to this point and hopefully one for many more years to come.

My parents, Rick and Debbie Thrift have shown me what family really means. It's truly all about love.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I texted my mom first. I was like the scared little kid trying to come to grips with something profound to me. All I wanted was my mother. A text might not have been the best way to share it, but I wasn't sure I could say it at that moment. My mom later told me her reaction to the text. She was in the grocery store shopping when she opened the message. She said she almost had to sit down from thinking about what the text meant. 

My mom has always shared stories with me throughout my life to help me along the way. One she shared had to do with me and diabetes when I was only a few months old. My grandmother, Niney, was at an educational session with my mom about diabetes, and one of the presenters suggested that diabetes was an inherited condition. They also shared that sometimes diabetes has a tendency to skip passed some generations and on to the next, meaning it might be likely when someone contracts diabetes, it could be their grandchildren who acquire the condition later. My mom recalls looking at Niney with a concerned thought; Jason could have this later on?

Niney put her hand on my mom's and said to her, "Not our baby."

Unfortunately, Niney didn't consider some of the habits I would develop in the following years. However, my parents tried to help me understand the importance of caring for yourself. But I did for this as well.

When I was a child, my parents both smoked. My mom smoked more than my dad did, but regardless, I grew up in an environment of seeing people smoke all the time. This action was common, particularly in the 1980s, before the anti-smoking campaigns began. One day, though, I was in grade school and had a nurse visit my class to tell us about concerns about smoking. I remember them talking about how it caused cancer and the adverse effects that could be brought on for everyone in a family. But the lungs they showed us stood out to me the most. The nurse had two sets of lungs, one healthy and one marred by the effects of smoking. I remember that lung like it was sitting right here in front of me now. The lung was black, dead looking, terrible. When I got home that day and saw my mom, I just had to tell her what I had seen. As a child, I was convinced my mom and dad had no idea what cigarette smoking could do to your body, particularly to your lungs. I outlined everything the nurse had shown us and explained it to my mom as best I could. After I was done explaining, my mom said to me, "I know what cigarettes do, son." With that comment from my mom, I responded, "Then why do you do it then?"

My mom told me I looked at her with disappointment, knowing she, in fact, knew how bad cigarettes were but did nothing to stop using them. From that day on, my mom and dad both decided they would quit smoking. On Martin Luther King's Birthday in 1989, my mom smoked her final cigarette, with my dad having stopped before that. Now, 35 years later, neither has smoked again.

That's family, loving one another enough to help each other. 

My parents have always helped me throughout their lives, but it's never just been about me. They help everyone. They've helped people celebrate birthdays. They've helped brides look beautiful for their weddings. They've helped people feel the best they have ever felt with a simple haircut. They've listened and offered great advice to countless people throughout their 40-year career in cosmetology. The joy they bring to others is genuine, passionate, and filled with love. An agape type of love, as they have sacrificed for others more times than I can count. 

I'm very proud to have parents like this, but more importantly, I'm blessed. I've been blessed not only to have them as guides but also to have them my whole life together, forever. They have set an example that we should do as they have done for us. A true love in Christ.

I have shared that love with my spouse, Leslie, and my children, Abby and Charlie, because I know how wonderful it has been for me. It's not to say we haven't had our ups and downs between my parents and me; that's just part of life. But we have always been centered on what matters most--love. It is a Christ thing, the love we share that binds us together in all things we do.

So, I'm glad I could help my mom and dad with their smoking. Likewise, they have helped me with my diabetes concerns. For that, I am always grateful. So grateful to them for any and everything they have ever taught me about life.

But the story doesn't stop there with them. There are still more influential factors in my life that have helped me to work through the sugar concerns I have today. 

Stay tuned for the next segment of 10: One Another, Part 4.